There are times I feel boxed in a room with no exit– the hurt and ache surrounding me so completely I can’t breathe. I don’t even want to move. How long does this last? When will it stop? Make it stop!
Even now, I have that same feeling of wanting to escape, of feeling smothered and screaming, “Let me out damn it!” The waves are not as long and not as often as they were a year ago. But it still hurts so much sometimes. You never imagined your child would die by suicide.
Punching pillows, screaming, yelling at the air helps. But nothing will “fix” it. And it takes an exceptionally long time to learn to live without the one you gave birth to.
What is the #griefheart project?
I explain my #griefheart project here.