Ten years ago this August my son Kieran, a medic in the army, died by suicide. Needless to say, our family was devastated as we unwillingly took up membership in that most terrible of clubs, the one you never want to be a member of.
For almost a year, Kieran’s deployment had been repeatedly delayed, which may have increased the anxiety my son was almost certainly feeling, even though he vehemently denied in a suicide note he posted on Facebook that his impending deployment had anything to do with his decision to take his life.
This is a lovely song written by Tony Andrade, John Droese and Bennie Droese and with permission to share here.
Castaway Are You Drowning in despair If you want, Just reach out You know that I’ll be there Tie the line, I’ll pull you close From your sea of blame A thousand miles, a world away I’ll find you just the same I’ll search I’ll Rescue However far, how long the day Whatever wrecks you when your lost, alone and you drift away I’ll be your lifeline the one that won’t let go I’ll … Read more...
I need your story. If you have lived experience with mental illness, addiction, or suicide if you have lost someone to suicide. Stories from veterans, about veterans, about LGBTQ individuals or indigenous people.
On March 22, 2010, my life was forever changed when I became a first-time foster parent to a beautiful premature 10-day-old, two-month baby boy. I knew that becoming a foster parent would mean major lifestyle changes, I didn’t know that my connection to this child would change the essence of my being. I was told that 99% of children taken at birth don’t go back to their birth parents, but this one fell in the 1%. At six-months-old, this dear sweet baby boy was returned to his birth mother. In the six months, I had interacted … Read more...
I live in an older neighborhood. I used to know everybody and we looked out for each other. All the neighborhood kids played together, we collected mail and newspapers when a neighbor was away. That sort of community. We didn’t have a “Neighborhood Watch’, though. We didn’t really feel like we needed one back then. We genuinely cared for our neighbors.
Some 40 odd years later we still look out for each other. But now, in the era of “Me Too” and BLM and wearing masks to protect one another, it seems to take on a new … Read more...
As I share my story, pay attention to how you think and feel. These realizations will be important in your path to overcoming your own emotional pain.
As you read my story, don’t compare and think, “That was no big deal” or “Oh my! That is so much worse than mine!” Rather, see how we can relate. Our experiences may not be the same, but we may relate in how we have felt during our experiences. We are all dealing with something and maybe we can learn from one another.
There’s a 12-Step program for just about everything. Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) has been around for a long time. It was a spin-off of Al-Anon (significant others of alcoholics), which evolved from Alcoholics Anonymous. ACA is a 12-step program that offers help to adult children who have been emotionally traumatized by a dysfunctional family.
According to Claudia Black, a dysfunctional family operates under specific rules: “Don’t think, don’t trust, don’t feel, and don’t talk about it.” The secrets and silence are generally related to shame-based behaviors, usually addiction-related.
I have four brothers and no sisters. So, as you can imagine I had to be very tough at a young age. This is what I truly pride myself on, my toughness. Well, even though this is a great quality to have, it did have some negative to it. See, everyone expected me to be this tough woman all the time. Well, deep down inside that was not the case all the time.
When I was I high school I was just starting to deal with Bipolar Disorder
I was not medically diagnosed until my mid-twenties. So, … Read more...
The doctor held up my newborn and said, “It’s a boy.” A moment later, he held up the second arrival, and announced, “It’s a boy.” Only a moment passed. My heart filled with anticipation as he held up the third arrival, and proclaimed, “It’s a boy . . . triplets!” I told him that Fred MacMurray would be proud referring to the television sitcom, My Three Sons.
Due to the high-risk level of my pregnancy, I was on bedrest for three weeks in a private room on the maternity ward in a section of … Read more...