What I want you to know…

by Mary-ellen Viglis

Dear DJ,

It’s been nearly 10 months since you left, my sweet, loving beautiful boy- Demetrios James.

I want you to know how truly missed you are. Most days I am brought to my knees by the hole in my heart. It feels like lava overflowing. It burns. It stings. There is no end to it. It seeps out of every part of my body. All the pain and grief – it is filled with all the love I have for you.

I am not mad. I am not angry. I don’t think I ever will be. … Read more...

What is grief?

by Mary-ellen Viglis

Mary-ellen and her son, DJ who suffered from depression and addiction and died by suicide

Grief has no words
It isn’t tangible
It is inexplicable
It is something I wish I didn’t know intricately
Yet I do…

It is made up of
Tears
Memories
Hugs
Love
Sadness
Good times
Difficult times
Long embraces
Regrets
Promises
Emptiness
Denial
Acceptance
Unfairness
Heartbreak
Shared moments
Missed moments
Unspoken words
Truth
Lies
Beauty
Ugliness
Sadness
Joy
Unforgettable moments
Darkness
Light
Simplicity

Complication
Laughter
Sickness
Healing
Gratitude
Blessings
Loneliness
Mistakes
Successes
More tears
Overflowing
Never ending
Heartbreaking
Constant
Tears
And smiles
And … Read more...

Silence is not the answer

by Mary-ellen Viglis

I am the mother of a 17-year old and in 3 short months he will be turning 18.

He is intelligent, funny, loves animals and music and although a tough exterior – inside he is loving and caring and loyal. Most times he doesn’t see any of the positive that encompasses him. He suffers from low self-esteem. He is easily hurt emotionally, desperate for true friends- ones that accept him for his true self. He often refers to himself as a piece of shit. It is hard for him to even celebrate small successes – he always … Read more...