Category: Addiction/Substance Misuse

Enjoyed my time in jail

How many can say that?

The men and women in the HARP (Heroin Addiction Recovery Program) at Chesterfield County jail are normal people like you and me. They are sons, daughters. They have aunts, uncles, mothers, fathers, and children who are showing signs of addiction. They have a disease called addiction and they volunteered from this program and they desperately want to stay in recovery.

After speaking to the women, to whom I was privileged to address, Sheriff Leonard asked me to speak to the men. So I did!

Men and women told their stories of suicide attempts and regrets … Read more...

Could I have knowingly lived with Charles using in my house?

I remember reading a story about a mom who adopted a harm reduction strategy and defined that as living with her son while he was using heroin. I don’t think, in that article, he actually went into recovery. However, when he’d leave the house, she’d ask just him to please use clean needles and the fentanyl strips she had purchased.

It sounded so neat and easy. I remembered feeling guilty we did not try that. Once I knew he was addicted, that is. Then I started to remember how it was with him at home when he was using. Both … Read more...

I am going to jail

Sheriff Leonard of the much admired HARP (HARP = Heroin Addicts Seek Fresh Start) program in Chesterfield County along with Dr. Gay and the rest of the crew has invited me in to speak to women struggling with substance use disorder. This program is saving lives.

Imagine realizing your disease has landed you in jail. And then go one step further and think about how it feels when you realize some action on your part separated you from your children.

Many of these women struggle to find hope but they are attending the classes and they want to get … Read more...

Did stigma have anything to do with Charles’ suicide?

When Charles first realized he suffered from depression, stigma drove his decision to never take an antidepressant.

From the beginning, we were pill shamed and later he was shamed for his drug use. Both of us were.

He was punished for having a panic attack with suspension. Then he was punished with a week in detention for using his iPod at lunch one foot past the line that was designated iPod area to manage his anxiety and prevent a panic attack.

It jaded him against the system and drove him towards drug use to manage the feelings. He lost faith … Read more...

I’ve never written anything like this

By Shannon G. 


I saw a friend “like” one the blog posts here on addiction and I ended
Your “How To Hang Yourself” post had my heart racing.

I decided I was going to chime in.

I’ve been a mental illness/suicide advocate for a few years now, but I’ve never written anything like this. I just went with it.

Strength is hard to find within yourself when you’ve been depleted of it for so long.  And the sad thing is, you’re the only one who can refill your strength. When you’re so deflated, how are you ever supposed … Read more...

Remembering Scott Neal Zebrowski

by Jill Cichowicz

Scott Neal Zebrowski

“I just want to see the twins turn 40,” my Father had eerily written to my siblings when we were 38 years old.

In my heart, I knew Scott would never see 40.

But I kept that to myself for fear if I said it out loud it would come true. We just celebrated our 40th birthday on June 24th this year and it was the hardest birthday I have ever had to face. Not for fear of becoming older, but because I had to go it alone.

We were twins and I liked sharing … Read more...

Send your selfies!

Model your Emotionally Naked T-shirt so I can add it to my gallery. I want to make some quick videos with the tribe! Like the one below.

Seventeen seconds.

I didn’t get all of you in this round. But I will be making more of these! I’ve been playing with this new toy, Adobe Spark.

Charles and I share this lack of a gift for editing video. Richard got all of it. Randy has never attempted it. (And that’s a good thing.)

Spread the word! Get the conversation going by having the guts to show you are emotionally … Read more...

Nar-anon saved my sanity

by Jenny Derr

In June of 2014 I wrote an email to a blogger friend, who had a pretty wide network. We had just taken Billy to another treatment facility and I was feeling pretty alone and sad.

Here is an excerpt of the letter I sent:

“I have really been thinking of your Widen the Circle post, as I think it means not only to open your circle when you are with others, but don’t we need to open our circle ( ourselves) even when we are alone? My sweet Billy is in Rehab. He was doing ok but

… Read more...

We didn’t sign up just for the pretty part

Do you support someone in recovery? If so, you can’t bail when it gets ugly. When you decided to do that, you had to know it might not go well at some point and that person might relapse. You don’t have to give them money or things but it’s never wrong to tell someone who suffers from addiction that you love them.

In fact, that’s how more people will be able to find and stay in recovery. You have to realize that those who have relapsed feel shame. They feel they failed. The truth is, it’s part of the disease … Read more...

I lost my father, David Lawrence Sanders, to suicide

by Amy Schmidt

In memory of David Lawrence Sanders December 13, 1949 – February 11, 1981

It was February 11, 1981. That was the day my whole universe changed. I was 7 years old and I remember walking into the kitchen, seeing my mom holding the phone in her hand. Tears were streaming down her pale face, with what I now recognize as a look of shock and grief. I tried asking her what was wrong, but she quietly shook her head and shooed me out of the room.

Author Amy Schmidt

My next memory is her sitting my 3-year-old … Read more...

Delivered our first Preventure manuals!

It was exciting to deliver the first Preventure manuals for our pilot starting in the fall. We hear about the NIH grant in June 2018. One of the recommendations from the CDC was to teach coping and problem solving skills and promote social connectedness, two things this program does.

The reason they cited problem-solving skills was that while treating mental illness is key to prevention, about half were not diagnosed with a mental illness and other life stressors were contributing factors of a suicide. e.g. relationship problems, physical health problems, substance use disorder, legal problems.

While the evidence-based Preventure program … Read more...

I don’t know how you can do this!

Teresa McBean

This is absolutely, hands down, the most common thing people ever say to me about my job as a pastor of a recovery church.

Most common question: “What in the world compelled you to THIS?”  I get it.  Recovery is hard.

The easy response to both the statement and question is to tell the truth:  my DNA led me here.  I didn’t come to this via an academic route or a passion for social justice; I crashed into recovery the way most do – through the door of desperation.  I know what it is like to live in … Read more...

How can faith leaders help with the addiction and suicide crisis?

Bulletin today from the republican leaders who invited faith leaders to learn more about community issues.

A panel discussion today with faith leaders and republican leaders got me to thinking how this group could help make a dent in this crisis. No matter what your political leaning, this is a nonpartisan issue and will take an effort from all sides.

As community leaders to whom others confide their darkest secrets, I believe faith leaders have the opportunity to tackle a key aspect of this puzzle and I’d like to discuss what I’d like to see from faith leaders.

Modeling behavior

… Read more...

What stories am I looking for?

submit your story

1. Stories from people of color

I see that suicide and addiction affects all races. Whether you are African American, Indian or Latino or something else, I’d like to hear how stigma is in your cultural community.

2. Stories from the LGBTQ community

Suicide rates are high in this community and I’d like those who identify as LGTBQ to contribute

3. Speaking opportunities to diverse places of worship

Always looking for opportunities at places of worship and I have one coming up soon. But I feel our outreach is lacking in certain cultural communities.

4. Stories from veterans

It’s a … Read more...

Silence is not the answer

by Mary-ellen Viglis

I am the mother of a 17-year old and in 3 short months he will be turning 18.

He is intelligent, funny, loves animals and music and although a tough exterior – inside he is loving and caring and loyal. Most times he doesn’t see any of the positive that encompasses him. He suffers from low self-esteem. He is easily hurt emotionally, desperate for true friends- ones that accept him for his true self. He often refers to himself as a piece of shit. It is hard for him to even celebrate small successes – he always … Read more...