Heroin writes me a letter back

falling-powder

Dear Anne Moss,

I got your letter. You said you f-ing hated me but I could care less.

I am heroin, the most powerful drug in the world.

I am so entrenched in your culture, it will take decades to undo the damage. Your son was just another casualty. I don’t even remember him. How could I? I’ve killed millions, ruined millions of lives and torn apart families.

I have more control over your loved ones than you ever had. You have no control over me and it’s so pathetic to watch you try.

What’s more, I keep changing in both form and formulation. People add delicious new pharmaceuticals that make me more and more irresistible. They can’t live without me and keep coming back for more. And more. And more. Until they don’t. Like your son. What’s his name again?

Sure some of them make it. But I’ve carved a path in their heads that will never leave. Mothers, fathers, siblings, aunts, uncles and friends will always worry about me coming back.

You thought you got rid of me in the 70s. I was barely a blip on the radar screen, overshadowed by all the new party drugs. I was weaker back then, so pure and powerful now. Those little white pills you invented were mere bread crumbs right back to me. I had all but disappeared until greed and opportunity revived me.

I create nirvana–an explosion of pleasure. But then I get tired of them. They nag, beg, steal and even kill to get more of me. They worship me. Of course they do. I am a drug Czar! They’ll give up anything for me. Their children, their houses, their cars. Everything. But by then, they are pathetic, needy and no longer any fun at all.

Some of them get cleaned up. And then some guy in a white coat inadvertently hands over a piece of paper that gets cashed in at the pharmacy and I have them back all over again. Or some parent like you leaves a bottle of pills in a cabinet. Or their own brains talk them into just one more party and I am back in their lives in an instant.

I am incredibly invincible. And intoxicating. The fact that you think your puny little effort here could take down an empire like mine is laughable.

They will spend a couple of billion to eradicate me? I can cost you that much in a few months. And a lifetime of grief.

All the best,

Heroin, the all powerful

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Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and my book, Diary of a Broken Mind, will be published in the fall. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Professional Speaker Website

12 thoughts on “Heroin writes me a letter back”

    1. Karim- I’m so sorry you suffer this insipid disease. My son also suffered thoughts of suicide more often once he suffered from addiction. We are here for you. Where do you live? And I’m not asking for your exact address your city and state. I’m just trying to thing of resources where you are. Feel free to write back and tell me more. It is hard. But it is possible. It is not meant to be something you endure by yourself but with a lot of support.

    2. Hey my friend. I’m a person in recovery and would love to help in anyway possible. Feel free to call me anytime @ 8042469814. If you don’t want to talk you can text, either way I just want to help! -Tim

  1. Dr McCauley has a great video on all this available. I would like to know who he recommends now for inpatient rehab. It was not quite clear in the film and I don’t think the facility and older physician are available now as I saw it 2 yrs ago. Jane

  2. Did you say ,” What is His Name” ? His name will never be forgotten as it is written in the Lambs Book of Life. A temporary win for you but you’ve lost the war. An eternity to remember and know their names. And where will you be? Yes you know … I’m calling your bluff. Temporary pain for Eternal Gain. Joshua Charles and Daniel and all the other’s names are STILL written on His hand. You may say ” what was his name again”? But because of His Name ( Jesus ) their names will NEVER in all eternity be forgotten. So now , I call your bluff. Diane McCormick

  3. Anne Moss, I just read this for the first time & it brought me to tears. Crack cocaine, oxycodone & Percocet did exactly the same thing, with the same consequences, to my Tyler.

    1. I am so sorry Tjwanna. I know Charles took multiple drugs but we never got a final tox screen as they had promised. All I know is that he did have a heroin addiction. It’s so hard to watch your kid self destruct. Nothing is worse.

  4. Your puny little effort may not take down the evil empire, but it is/will help someone. Maybe hundreds of someones. Prayerfully, it will turn the tide, at least in Richmond. Hang in there, AM, you are fighting the good fight. Thank you.

  5. Wow Anne…so true but only those of us who understand this ‘gets it’…a 10 week pregnant mom comes in to a hospital in withdrawal from heroin….how does she get treated?..no code stimi, no code sepsis etc called but rather when it is suggested that she be given a dose of methadone and hooked up in to a substance abuse program the next day do we hear ‘if we did that for her they would all come here’…shame on our medical community for thinking that someone who comes in experiencing withdrawal symptoms should be treated any differently than someone experiencing chest pain or hypoglycemia . ..and what is meant by ‘then THEY all would come here!’. ..shame on all of us for treating this disease any differently than many of the other chronic diseases that are causing us to spend unnecessary health care dollars!!!##

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