Category: Addiction/Substance Misuse

Marijuana was my crutch

by Jon Farrow

substance dependence

There are all kinds of addicts, I guess. We all have pain. And we all look for ways to make the pain go away.” – Sherman Alexie

It was a blindingly bright sunny day in Fort Sill, Oklahoma in 2010 as I boarded the plane that would take me home. As I found my seat, anxiety began to jar me as if I were already experiencing turbulence. In my hands was my DD-214 (Discharge from Active Duty), flooded with military jargon I couldn’t translate. The phrase I could read was written at the bottom of the page.… Read more...

It’s just marijuana. The problem with denial

“It’s just marijuana. It’s not like he’s doing heroin or meth.”

“I can’t worry about pot and drinking? We all did it in high school.”

“We didn’t want him to get arrested so we let him smoke marijuana at home. It’s a harmless drug.”

“His anxiety is so bad, we let him smoke marijuana.”

“My son is not smoking marijuana. His grades are perfect and he’s just not the type.”

I have heard parents say all of the above statements, dismissing marijuana as harmless. But today’s pot is far stronger than the seventies pot and as an illegal drug for those … Read more...

Setting expectations for the holidays after the death of a child

The first Christmas after Charles died by suicide, I expected it to be hard. All those firsts are hard–first birthday, mother’s day, father’s day etc. Hell, Arbor Day was hard.

For the second Christmas after Charles’ suicide, I was sure the holidays would be better. After all, the first one happened and I survived. How bad could this second one be?

December 1, 2017, two and a half years after my son’s suicide, slapped me hard and shut me down. My head was a mixing bowl with too many ingredients and it was hard to complete anything with more than … Read more...

Why do we call them soft skills?

Interpersonal people skills which are also referred to as social-emotional skills such as communication and listening, leadership, coping/problem solving, teamwork, and empathy among others are what are referred to as soft skills.

In our score-obsessed, overly standardized-tested educational system, soft skills have been squeezed out by “core subjects” and degraded like they are fluffy little extras like a bows on a package. In home economics, I learned to sew on a button, budget for food for a week, write a check, buy a car, and rent a place to live. In shop, I learned to work with a team, how … Read more...

Post rehab commencement grief

by Brooke Davis

Two weeks ago, I attended my son’s commencement at The Healing Place.

After over a year, my eldest son, Alex, completed all the requirements of their program and received a diploma. He and the other 6 members of the 62nd class dressed in suits and ties as their teachers from the Works Class, the residents and many alumni looked on. We as parents were given seats in the front row. There were easily 200 in attendance.

It has been years since a teacher praised my son to me, for his efforts in class and his intelligence. … Read more...

Jared’s last words

by Jared Murphy

Note from his mother: “This is a letter my son Jared wrote to his friends before he died. He died from accidental overdose. Jared had given me the note a while back. He asked that I post it to his Facebook page. Through tears, I am sharing and awe fills my heart to have had the honor to be his mother.” Maureen Mahaney

To be posted to my Facebook – just in case (Please)

If you are reading this then the war is finally over. These words are mine and have been written as a half-baked last … Read more...

Asking a favor

I’m working on getting an agent which is the first step to getting my book published. It would help if I have more subscribers because they will want to know if I have a following.

Bigger numbers equal more interest from both agents and publishers.

It might be you have this site bookmarked and you don’t subscribe. I would appreciate it if you did. There is a weekly option and a daily one and I can add bi-monthly if there is demand. Just let me know in the comments.

What’s more, the shares by you guys have reached others … Read more...

My boyfriend died from a drug overdose

by Victoria Kiarsis

Billy Derr and Victoria Kiarsis

I met Billy Derr at a 12-step meeting in Boston in the fall of 2014.

Although I didn’t think much about him at the time and was even dating someone else, Billy had different ideas. He told me later that when he saw me for the first time, in my burgundy pants, tan booties, and leather jacket, he knew he’d make me his girlfriend one day. And that he did.

In May 2015, when I was single again, we went to a concert together with friends. He wooed me with his dance … Read more...

Letter from a drug dealer

Dear People,

You all think of me as the worst possible human being– a drug dealer. Most of you invest all your hate and resentment for your loved one’s addiction on me.

Every arrest is celebrated like some progress has been made in the war on drugs. What a joke. All of us “dealers” are products of demand. Once one of us is arrested, or killed, hundreds more are there to take our place.

How did I end up a dirty drug dealer? I have a mom and a dad, a sister and a brother who love me. And they … Read more...

Regrets and my son Billy’s relapse

by Jenny Derr

Jordan, Jenny and Billy

October is a hard month, and the past couple of weeks even more so. Three years ago, Billy relapsed after seventeen months of sobriety.  I was in my Wednesday Nar-Anon meeting when I got the call.

I remember vividly sitting in that room in shock and disbelief

We thought we were done with the craziness of active addiction. I just couldn’t believe it. I remember walking in the house, my husband wasn’t home, Jordan was still in school at the University of South Carolina, and Harrison was home with me.

Billy was in … Read more...

I got to play college professor

VCU Masters in Sociology class

This was my second time presenting to this masters in social work class at Virginia Commonwealth University.

What do I teach? Lived experience.

As Charles and our family stumbled through a broken mental health system here in Virginia, we found some of the worst prejudice where it was least expected–the mental health system. Speaking to those who are currently in training is the most effective way to prevent stigma and help those who treat a vulnerable population find compassion and understanding in helping their patients find recovery.

Thank you Julia Rice Stokes for this … Read more...

Illusions of shiny-accomplished-contented familyhood

by Lynda Hatcher

The perfect, shiny family

“We cast away priceless time in dreams, born of imagination, fed upon illusion, and put to death by reality.” —Judy Garland

Pat, my counselor for over twenty years, helped me to understand the psychological concept of illusions and how they can box us in to a way of thinking and perceiving our world. In our society, we’re attached to the illusions we’ve created for ourselves and our families; how we think we’re supposed to look to the outside world.

Thank God, I didn’t have to face the Instagram stories of adorable families in … Read more...

My Son’s Gift of Tranquility and Hope

by Brooke D

When your child is an addict in and out of recovery, you low expectations.

Holidays, birthdays and family events are unpredictable. You never can be certain the child will be present and if he is, he may or may not be sober. For several years, my oldest son created drama at family gatherings, so when he went away for treatment, it was a relief when he was not there to join us.

Alex’s crowning glory of drama was on my 50th birthday, when he took heroin for the first time. We had plans to go to my … Read more...

Even when your child is in recovery, it’s still hard

by Brooke

types of grief

My kid has nearly 11 months clean and sober. For over a year he has been living in a long-term residential treatment center for homeless addicts. For 4 years he has struggled with substance abuse disorder and has sometimes made my life feel like a rollercoaster.

Right now, he is doing well, so I should just be filled with gratitude.

I am grateful for his progress

I am grateful for the tools I have developed to cope with his addiction. I am grateful for meeting other parents whose kids also struggle with addiction, mental illness and homelessness. It … Read more...

Love this article in the Progress Index

Reporters at some of the largest and most prestigious newspapers in the country don’t use the accepted phrase “died by suicide” instead of the “committed” phrase. But this regional paper got it right. A lot of education for the public in this article. 

COLONIAL HEIGHTS — In the city’s ongoing effort to educate the community about the dangers of the heroin and opioid epidemic, Colonial Heights put on the fourth act of their Heroin and Opiate summits on Tuesday night.

“Our mission and hope is to one day end the need for events like this one,” said Colonial … Read more...