Category: Addiction/Substance Misuse

I will always come get you

charles and mom

I remember telling my children this. “If you have had too much to drink, I will come get you and I won’t ask questions.” Also known as an amnesty policy, I followed through with that promise on multiple occasions.

But when Charles wanted me to come get him in that last phone call, although he didn’t literally say, “come get me,” I didn’t. At first this was a huge boulder to carry and I punished myself constantly for it. And while I have forgiven myself, it will always sting.

The disease of addiction and all of its chaos scrambled … Read more...

#MythBustingMondays If your child is addicted, it’s because you didn’t put your foot down

Why was my child abusing drugs?

Was it because we didn’t punish enough, take away enough privileges or otherwise let our child know who was boss?

Maybe we coddled him too much, let him hang out with the “wrong friends,” or worked too much when we should have stayed home.

Or perhaps we didn’t go to church enough, get Charles more involved with activities, or do enough random drug tests.

The truth is, drug abuse and addiction happens to good parents, bad parents, happily married parents, divorced parents. It happens to working moms, stay-at-home moms, dad’s who are involved, dad’s … Read more...

The drug dealer I thought I hated

by Jenny Derr

I attended a program at Godwin High School this week, which was organized by Project Purple, of which I am a member.  The ORBIT program, which stands for Opiate Recovery By Intensive Tracking, is a Henrico County Sheriff’s office initiative, which serves to help inmates battling addiction to opioids.

This particular program is called In Plain Sight, and the residents of the program set up a typical teen bedroom on the stage and then ask members of the audience to come up and see if they can find the 50 items related to drug use, … Read more...

How did I get the courage to speak out about suicide and addiction?

suicide story charles rogers
This screenshot was a day or two after it posted. I only wish I would have screen-shotted the comments as those original ones are now lost. I found such comfort in reading all those other stories

Three years ago, I wrote this newspaper article following Charles‘ death. I’ve referred to it several times before. 

Charles died by suicide June 5, 2015 and I started writing it in August of that same year. We were moving at the same time since the house sold four days before his death. 

It took six months to write 1,200 words. Earlier versions were … Read more...

I need your stories. Because this kind of message never gets old

Names have been removed to protect the identity of the sender of the above message but these are the kinds of messages I get in response to both my story and yours. That’s why I need and want your emotionally naked stories. That’s why they are important.

Stories about managing a life with a loved one who suffers from substance abuse, how you cope after a loved one’s suicide or suicide attempt, how you manage thoughts of suicide or a mental illness, a memorial about your loved one that suffered from mental illness/addiction, your grief after loss of a loved one … Read more...

Racist photos in Northram’s yearbook shines a spotlight on prejudice

I’m not going to debate the picture in Virginia Governor Ralph Northram’s yearbook. But it got me to thinking about prejudice in general which goes way beyond race.

It’s prejudice I’ve been fighting for the last nine years for the topics of both substance use disorder and mental illness.

Every time we say “commit suicide” we are making a prejudiced remark that those who die by suicide are criminals. Here in Virginia, we’ve been unsuccessful in eradicating the ancient 1600s law that suicide is a crime despite that  government agencies and scientific studies having declared it a public health issue.… Read more...

There is nothing you can do until they ‘hit bottom’ #MythBustingMondays

by Teresa McBean

I have few commitments; I have a host of good intentions.  One of my commitments is weekly attendance at our Family Education Program on Thursday nights. I attend unless I am out of town or sick enough to require an IV and suffer from a fearful expectation that I should be getting my affairs in order.  This is how committed I am to busting myths about Substance Use Disorder and providing hope and healing for families struggling with this dread disease.

These educational meetings support recovery by educating family members and loved ones of folks who have … Read more...

Is my child using drugs? Free ‘Signs of Drug Use’ Report

Signs of Drug Use
Get your free drug use report

This report can help you figure out if a child, or any loved one or family member is using drugs and which ones they may be abusing.

When Charles was using, I was constantly trying to figure out which ones or if it was something else. Teasing apart all the behaviors was so frustrating since he also suffered from ADHD, DSPS (a sleep disorder), anxiety, depression with some panic attacks. There were signs of drug use I didn’t know were signs until later, and physical characteristics and behaviors I found … Read more...

Interview for National Drug & Alcohol Facts week

Recently I was interviewed by Paige Long, a mental health advocate and an employee of the UniWellness secure telehealth platform.

How to support a family member suffering Substance Use Disorder (SUD) and key guiding principles for families to keep in mind were included in part one.

Click here to see the interview….. … Read more...

Pawn shops and addiction

by Stas Novitsky

Pawn shops are predatory. They knew I wasn’t in a good place pawning my TV, jewelry, computers, and bike every week, but they made the transaction anyway.

I would go to countless pawn shops multiple times a week and do the weekly shuffle there. After the pawn shop to my dealers and then to hustle money to buy my stuff back plus drugs. At one point I sold them a stolen bike my 65-year-old homeless using partner had “given” me.

My addicted self thought nothing of it, I just wanted to get high. Needed to get high. … Read more...

Relapse means an addicted person lacks willpower #MythBustingMondays

#MythBustingMondays

Myth: Addiction is a moral failing
Fact: Addiction is a disease

Just as a person doesn’t choose to have an addiction, they also cannot simply choose to stop being addicted. When some of us drink alcohol, we can stop. For others, it triggers something in their brains that screams, “I need more.”

In reality, addiction is a chronic brain disease that requires intensive and thorough treatment. Once a person becomes dependent on drugs or alcohol, their brain adjusts to the excessive amount of toxins entering their body. As their body’s tolerance for the drug grows, they need to … Read more...

Stop ‘should-ing’ yourself

After Charles’ addiction and suicide, I looked back with all the wisdom and all the facts of “after” and told myself I should have done something this way or that. I tortured myself with it. The coulda, woulda, shoulda consumed me for months and years.

I blamed myself for something I did, something I said, things I didn’t say or do. People tried to talk me out of it. They’d swear up and down that it wasn’t my fault. But that guilt baggage is part of the process of accepting the unfair end I’d been given.

But it’s not just … Read more...

Booking speaking engagements now

Creating a demo reel and should have my TEDx video in February. I sorely need video and that will be a focus in 2019.

Negotiating contracts now for spring and fall and if you know of an event looking for a speaker, do keep me in mind. See the speakers page for more info.

Karla Helbert, MS, LPC and I will be doing a Coping Strategies for Grief workshop at Ellwood Thompson locally in Richmond, VA in late February. Date to be announced soon. Checking on room availability and we will announce here and on our facebook pages.

And … Read more...