Wrung out, cried out and feeling the dull ache of ‘miss you Charles.’
Not wanting to get out of bed. But I do.
Not wanting to run. But I do.
Nothing I can grab onto. Sinking.
I want to fix this. But I can’t.
Trying to get out of my own head. But stuck.
Trying to get things done. So unproductive.
Trying to feel normal. Impossible.
Thinking of ways to jumpstart myself. No energy.
Try to straighten my bent posture. I need a crowbar.
Talking to the air. It doesn’t talk back.
Begging for a sign. I get nothing.
Feeling that ugly, naked, empty grief.
No sugar coating it. Hiding it. Or stuffing it.
Riding it out.
Tomorrow is another day. It will be brighter.
Support group? You bet.
Anne,
I feel the spirit of Charles in your writing. The love and connection that exists with your son is so evident in Charles writing and also in yours. Thank you for sharing your love for your son it Is both beautiful, transparent and inspiring.
Thank you so much Christine
Boy, can I relate to so much of this right now, Anne Moss. I calculate in my mind this morning laying in bed with tears streaming that Tuesday will be 8 years since I last celebrated my birthday with Garrett. It sounds too impossible to be true. Some days things just come crashing down for all of us. Biggest of (((Hugs))) to you and all of us. <3
Birthday’s are the hardest. At least for me. The whole month I want to hide in a cave. My heart is with you
I’m glad for you that you have a support group to help you out. You also have your “village” here on your blog. May we continue to provide any support.
You guys do provide so much support. I had not idea when I started this blog how much that would mean to me. But it does
Long distance hug!
Thank you Leigh