Typical hurt day

grieving tree
The grieving tree

Wrung out, cried out and feeling the dull ache of ‘miss you Charles.’

Not wanting to get out of bed. But I do.

Not wanting to run. But I do.

Nothing I can grab onto. Sinking.

I want to fix this. But I can’t.

Trying to get out of my own head. But stuck.

Trying to get things done. So unproductive.

Trying to feel normal. Impossible.

Thinking of ways to jumpstart myself. No energy.

Try to straighten my bent posture. I need a crowbar.

Talking to the air. It doesn’t talk back.

Begging for a sign. I get nothing.

Feeling that ugly, naked, empty grief.

No sugar coating it. Hiding it. Or stuffing it.

Riding it out.

Tomorrow is another day. It will be brighter.

Support group? You bet.

Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

8 thoughts on “Typical hurt day”

  1. Anne,

    I feel the spirit of Charles in your writing. The love and connection that exists with your son is so evident in Charles writing and also in yours. Thank you for sharing your love for your son it Is both beautiful, transparent and inspiring.

  2. Boy, can I relate to so much of this right now, Anne Moss. I calculate in my mind this morning laying in bed with tears streaming that Tuesday will be 8 years since I last celebrated my birthday with Garrett. It sounds too impossible to be true. Some days things just come crashing down for all of us. Biggest of (((Hugs))) to you and all of us. <3

  3. I’m glad for you that you have a support group to help you out. You also have your “village” here on your blog. May we continue to provide any support.

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