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Tell me a story about your loved one

Enough about my story. For now, anyway. I want to know yours.

Tell me a story about your loved one.

If you lost a child, I want to know more about that child. Tell me something about him. Or her.

If someone you love is using, tell me a story about the person deep down inside. I want to know more about you guys. Don’t think because it’s your sister, brother or best friend, you can’t tell me the story. I want you to think about who they are or were while you are writing it.

I decided today this … Read more...

On becoming a stranger

When something awful happens, people are at complete loss for what to do or what to say.  It’s like a switch was flipped and the tragedy changed you. There is little training in how to manage a family member or friendship with someone who has met the most devastating loss of their lives.

Friends and family don’t adapt quickly to your new circumstances. Just as I have not adapted quickly to being a mother of a child who killed himself. Why should I expect others to? Why should I expect them to know what to do or what to say? … Read more...

Do you want your child who died to be forgotten?

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That’s our greatest fear. That their memory will fade away. So what do you do?

Bring it up first

You’ve buried a child so don’t bury their memory.

Nothing will keep you stuck in grief like refusing to talk about your child. Let others know you want to talk by bringing up their name, posting on Facebook or asking a friend to share your wishes with others. (Don’t worry, it will travel.)

Defining the scope of what you wish they talked about or didn’t talk about, helps. For example, one family said they wanted to talk about their child as … Read more...