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Tag: finding myself after my son’s suicide

Joy and sadness

Such joy to visit my oldest son Richard living in LA.

Sadness because my youngest son, Charles, was not with us.

Joy to see Richard handling real life and maturing.

Sadness that he’s so far away from us.

Joy to see my oldest follow a dream he’s had since 8th grade.

Sadness that my youngest didn’t get to do the same.

Joy in the fact that Richard has a solid job at a good company (Tom Hanks studio, Hertzog)

Sadness that I have to leave and go home.

It’s hard to get used to the roller coaster of emotions … Read more...

Grief: Finding joy where I can, when I can

Totally embarrassing video below

When Richard, oldest son, was here for the Richmond Film Festival early in March, we got some time to spend together. (His film Cottonmouth got in the festival.)

One day I took him and his roommate out to lunch. While we sat there eating, Richard said, “Hey Mom, do you want to go to the screenings with us this afternoon?” I said,”Yes I can. No plans!”

Whatever plans I had, poof, they were gone. Fortunately I had taken the day off and cannot even remember what my plans might have been.

In the car before we … Read more...