I’ve always struggled to explain what it’s like to have an eating disorder. Words never seem to do justice to the torment and havoc eating disorders wreak in a person’s mind and belief-system.
Years ago, in the midst of a 10-year battle with an eating disorder, I wrote this as an attempt to explain my twisted, inner reality. It’s my hope, sharing it now, that it will help friends and family, of those suffering from eating disorders, better understand the inner turmoil.
It’s a blessing to be able to say that this isn’t my reality anymore
If had to choose a phrase that encapsulates my story and the pain and suffering I’ve experienced, it would be: “collateral beauty.”
Several years ago, I lost my best friend (who was also my roommate) to suicide. It turned my world upside down.
There are no words to explain the devastating grief that washes over you after a complex loss like suicide; it’s as unpredictable and relentless as waves crashing over the seashore. I wrestled with the never-ending questions and the monstrous-of-all questions, “why?” I broke time and time again over the … Read more...
If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be fighter. Throughout my whole journey I have had to fight day in and day out to find happiness. I have had to fight for the one thing I have always wanted the most, full recovery.
For those who don’t know me, here is my story
I’ve always had insecurities and struggles–the biggest was separation anxiety from my mom.
In elementary school, I remember running to my mom who worked at the school, and clinging to her as my teacher pulled me off. I know now … Read more...