Putting my life back together after my best friend’s suicide

by Emily Barnhardt

If had to choose a phrase that encapsulates my story and the pain and suffering I’ve experienced, it would be: “collateral beauty.”

Several years ago, I lost my best friend (who was also my roommate) to suicide. It turned my world upside down.

There are no words to explain the devastating grief that washes over you after a complex loss like suicide; it’s as unpredictable and relentless as waves crashing over the seashore. I wrestled with the never-ending questions and the monstrous-of-all questions, “why?” I broke time and time again over the feeling that I somehow failed … Read more... “Putting my life back together after my best friend’s suicide”

Dreamcatcher heart – #griefheart number 134

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“My brother Jefferson Joseph Blanton-Harris (“Joey”) was 25 years old when he died by suicide on 5/20/13. He is my little “bwudder,” and always will be. I chose the blue color buttons in this photo because he has the most beautiful, striking blue eyes.

He has 7 older sisters, all with brown eyes, so his eyes really stand out. I chose the dream-catcher because I have several times seen him in my dreams. I use the present tense when speaking of him, for I believe in his true presence in my dream-state, not “just dreams.” I believe he lives forever, … Read more... “Dreamcatcher heart – #griefheart number 134”