Category: Addiction/Substance Misuse

The definition of addiction recovery

When Charles was about to be released from rehab, he called and begged us to do Suboxone to help him transition. We wondered, “What is the right thing to do?”

At the time, many people were saying that it was trading one drug for another. And there are still people who I respect that think that way.

It was a consideration but we were in the midst of putting our house on the market and about to move so we had to find Charles a room in a recovery house. At the time, the recovery houses were not taking people … Read more...

My child’s drug use is because he got in with the wrong crowd

It’s so tempting to blame our child’s initial drug-seeking behavior on “hanging out with the wrong crowd.” It’s the number one go-to reason parents tell me is the reason for their child’s drug use.

Kids start using to:

  • Ease their pain and feel better
  • Feel good
  • Relax
  • Relieve boredom
  • Belong

In my opinion, “to belong” is rarely the reason these days. We think our child chooses some friend group that just happens to all start using about the same time, or our kid gets innocently sucked into the vortex of substance misuse.

The truth is, those who are struggling tend

… Read more...

Video: Preventure study coming to Richmond, VA Schools

We Got the Grant- An Overview of a Substance Abuse Prevention Program Study Coming to CCPS

Presenter: Anne Moss Rogers, Board member, Beacon Tree Foundation; Owner, Emotionally Naked LLC

There are four traits that Put Kids at Risk of Substance Misuse and in January 2019, VCU Institute of Drug & Alcohol Studies with Beacon Tree Foundation, won the VCU CCTR Endowment Fund to implement Preventure, a personality-targeted life skills training program that has been shown to reduce drug and alcohol use in schools by up to 80%.

The pilot study, the first in the US, will include four Virginia … Read more...

Words Matter: Addiction

You got 1 minute 15 seconds?

Name calling has been around longer than pancakes and pine straw. But that doesn’t mean we have to participate. In some cases, it’s simply lack of education. In others, it’s a cop out and a way to bolster one’s own self esteem by putting down another.

Book offers
words matter with addiction
… Read more...

As much as I want you to get well, I love you even if you don’t

killed himself

This is what I wish I had said to Charles.

I was so stunned when I found out he was addicted to heroin. And while I know I felt that way, I didn’t express it just like that. I needed to. Our loved ones who suffer addiction need to hear it.

What kept Charles from ending his life before were thoughts of his family.

He pinned up pictures of us wherever he went including that awful trap house place where he was staying in the end to remind him that he had a family who cared. They were reminders during … Read more...

It’s not shame you see in the eyes of your loved ones

To those with substance use disorder-

You see the faces of your loved ones when you use or relapse and you translate that look on their face as shame. Because you feel shame.

But it’s not that. It’s fear. We are gripped with mortal fear that you will die from substance use disorder.

We want to understand it as a disease. But it’s hard because it is so different from our usual definition of disease. We are not tempted to throw cancer patients out the door because we’ve had enough.

When you steal from us, we struggle not to be … Read more...

Challenge doctors that hand over opiate prescriptions without questions

Speak up.

If someone prescribes an opiate when you have explicitly asked for it not to be prescribed, or a medical professional just hands you the scrip without asking if you are in recovery or suffer from addiction, don’t ignore it. Say something.

Ask the nurse, PA, or doctor, “You know those are highly addictive and we are in a crisis in this country. Don’t you think it’s a good idea to ask people if they are in recovery or suffer from addiction?”

You can ask it politely. But don’t let it go.

If more of us asked, more doctors … Read more...

Paying it forward gives another hope

letter by Christopher Doyle

Scott Zebrowski died from overdose and a scholarship fund established by his twin sister, Jill, has given Christopher a chance at recovery

“About four months ago, I was in such a dark place that I wasn’t sure if I was going to make it out alive. To be honest, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to. Thirteen years of heroin addiction and failed attempts at getting clean had brought me to a place of such hopelessness and despair that giving up seemed like a viable option.

Scott Zebrowski didn’t die in vain. If his family can … Read more...

Why do they lace heroin with fentanyl?

I am using the fentanyl and heroin as an example.

Dealers are mixing deadly substances in all street drugs including cocaine, pot and meth. But I think it’s odd to lace things with substances that kill. I can’t figure out what they get out of it.

From a purely practical point of view, these dealers are killing their customers. So why would they do that? Do they feel they have so many that it doesn’t matter? Does adding the substances add so much allure that those who suffer addiction think it’s worth the risk if they can feel that euphoric … Read more...

It’s not personal

When my son started using drugs and even when I couldn’t get him to stop, it was not personal. I took it personally. It felt personal. He saw me take it personally.

At first, I was addicted to fixing my son until I finally sought help for my own addiction to making it all right. Quite possibly what I was doing made things worse. Charles was ashamed of his drug use and my reaction merely fueled that shame which drove more drug use. After all, his substance misuse was his coping strategy for depression and thoughts of suicide.

Punitive measures … Read more...

In memory of Christopher Baker, a wonderful human being

Memory page for Chris, June 10, 1980 – June 2, 2019

Randy: “Hi. My name is Randy Rogers and I am calling you to find out if any of the guys in the recovery house need to make some money because we need some landscaping done.”

Lee: “Yeah. There’s a guy named Chris. Come by on Saturday and I’ll introduce you.”

My husband, Randy, goes to the recovery house where Lee is house manager. This was where Charles lived for a single day before his relapse and ultimate suicide. Instead of the 19-year-old named Chris that Lee told us … Read more...

It’s so hard to see your child in an altered state of mind

teen suicide
This is one of the last photos of Charles before he died

I came downstairs and walked into the den and Charles was lying on the floor at weird angles. My heart panicked then dropped to the floor. I thought he was dead and immediately checked his pulse.

He was alive but had been so drunk he passed out on the floor. He was fifteen and had been angry with me about something and this was his rebellious reaction to our argument. We had a conversation later and I told him that it did hurt me but “vindictive drinking” hurt … Read more...

Was this Charles’ goodbye visit to his NC grandparents?

Charles, Nanny (my mom), Richard

In the summer of 2014, before Charles’ suicide, Charles wanted to go visit Nanny and Grandbobby, my parents in Fayetteville, NC. He loved family. But now I have to wonder if he was going to see them just in case he didn’t see them again.

So he took the train in October 2014, about eight months before his death by suicide. My mom woke up one night he was there and she was concerned because he was not in the house. It was around 3am.

Charles had had a rare sleep disorder since the age … Read more...

How did I smile through the client lunch when my son was in jail?

How did I manage a professional image when my personal life was falling apart?

No one’s life goes perfect for an entire professional career. Divorces, sudden illness or death of a loved one and more can throw our neatly folded life off balance. At some point, personal pain leaks into any carefully constructed professional space. After all, the two personas inhabit the same body and brain.

I have been in that place. I know it, I’ve felt it and the memory of it as I write this article has me typing through tears. There was a time when I struggled … Read more...

Enjoyed speaking at FAB Women and Hanover Cares

I so enjoyed my time this week speaking to various groups on suicide prevention. The conversation after really opened up with the FABWOMEN and Shanna, the group founder was an awesome closer.

I’m focusing on colleges and the education market but that has a limited season, so if you know of a potential paid speaking engagement, do mention my name. Even a conference breakout session where I wouldn’t necessarily get paid but I’d make good connections and could book other engagements off that gig. I am thinking my Coping Strategies for Grief & Loss workshop would be good for corporations. … Read more...