‘My family wouldn’t be surprised if I suicided’

Dear those who struggle with thoughts of suicide,

No matter how many times you’ve said it, we could never be “prepared.”

It is always a shock if that’s the way a loved one dies. To us, we think you won’t really follow through. Because you love us so much or you made a promise you can’t possibly keep because you are not in full control of your actions at that moment.

That sort of thinking does reflect our gross misunderstanding of what those struggling with thoughts of suicide go through. But we family members and friends tell ourselves you’re not going to do this when you are alive so we don’t worry to death that you’ll die by suicide. Does that make sense?

I’m not guilting you. But what it comes down to is that we don’t get what you are going through. And you underestimate the impact of our pain if you do take your life.

If we talked about it more, listened to you more, got past our own fears, maybe we could understand better. But starting a conversation about it is like chiseling a statue out of marble with a butter knife.

No one is talking about it but everyone is making assumptions. And that’s deadly. So if someone is not taking you seriously, tell someone else. That might be someone less emotionally invested.

USA Suicide Hotline 1-800-273-8255
USA & Canada Crisis Text 741-741

USA Crisis text line for LGBTQ Youth 678-678
Crisis line for LGBTQ Youth 1-866-488-7386
Canada 1-833-456-4566
United Kingdom 116 123
Australia 13 11 14
International suicide hotlines

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked TEDx speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my youngest son, Charles to substance use disorder and suicide June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Professional Speaker Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

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