I remember thinking, “How can I possibly care for myself when I have no time?” I know now that I have to put my oxygen mask on before I put it on others. It was painful to learn that.
The times I decided to bag the support group and do something else meant I was giving up that which was working for me at a time when I needed it most. Those times you decide to meditate, go to yoga, take a hot bath, play golf, go for a run, allows you the break you need to refuel and gain perspective.
I know if I don’t allow myself those moments of self-care, I’ll end up feeling like a doormat, used up and useless, not to mention resentful. It’s taken me a long time to shed the guilt for indulging.
OK, so I’ve not completely overcome that. But I recognize I must and some positive self-talk gets me back into the right frame of mind. I have to make boundaries and honor those. And self-care is part of that recipe.
In short, I know that self-care does not equal selfish.
I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief.
As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.
Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.
View all posts by Anne Moss Rogers
2 thoughts on “How important is self-care?”
Oh gosh Anne Moss this is so true! David told me recovering from his surgery that my self care is terrible! I once told my daughter’s therapist that she should take a picture of the Mom’s from when the ED began to what they look like now because it sure has aged me. Thank you for the reminder of the oxygen mask. I am working on it. ❤
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Oh gosh Anne Moss this is so true! David told me recovering from his surgery that my self care is terrible! I once told my daughter’s therapist that she should take a picture of the Mom’s from when the ED began to what they look like now because it sure has aged me. Thank you for the reminder of the oxygen mask. I am working on it. ❤
It’s actually a very hard step to take. But think of it this way. You are being a role model for your daughter.