How many times has this phrase nagged your conscious? My guess is you’ve struggled with this at one time or another.
In grief, the sad sap “nobody cares” mantra played on repeat in my head and I had to fight it with self talk. The world dared to move on without my son in it. It kept rotating, people kept drinking coffee, driving to work, and going about their day even though my heart and my motherhood was pummeled by the news Charles had taken his life.
Nudging myself out of “nobody cares” mode was like pushing a car through quicksand but I knew it would be self perpetuating if I didn’t push my head out of that self defeating rerun.
The other night, I overheard a young man talking about his suicidal ideation. He suffers from depression and hid behind his shame for many years and didn’t dare participate in mental health or suicide prevention awareness events because of the stigma. Isolation had been the go-to creating an ideal milieu for self pity.
He had once thought nobody cared but when he started to fundraise for his first Out of the Darkness Walk, people donated. It didn’t matter how much but he was touched people cared enough to support the cause. No one was putting him down or judging. His moment of clarity was understanding it was his own thoughts that were stuck on a self-defeating hamster wheel.
Once he made the decision to dive into advocacy efforts, he did so with every ounce of himself and laughed at his over exuberance. I smiled to myself because while the conversation didn’t include me, his newfound transformation drifted my way and made me feel joy that someone had warmed my heart that someone had shifted their soul out of darkness by finding purpose.
“Nobody cares” is a bear trap that tries to hold you hostage.