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It’s how you survive that counts

In Los Angeles for Christmas with Richard, Me, Randy

We used to be four. Now we are three. I still struggle with that.

I regret I did not have more children. Not that other children would “replace” the one I lost to suicide .  It’s just I feel our family is so much smaller now.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m thankful and grateful for what I have. I know parents who lost their only child. I know parents who’ve lost more than one. People say, “I’d never survive that.” Yes, you would. Because you have no other choice.

So we do survive. But how do we survive?

We cannot beat ourselves up for laughing and living again. We can’t let ourselves drown in bitterness or hide sorry in the alcohol we swallow. We can’t let those lethargic grief days become the norm. We can’t feel guilty for grieving our child for the rest of our lives and not “getting over it.”

Most importantly, we can’t let the death of a child be the last chapter of our own.

 
 
Typical hurt day

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

9 thoughts on “It’s how you survive that counts”

  1. Merry Christmas and thank you for your blog. I love knowing that I am not alone as a parent dealing with mental illness in my child. I plan to write about how I survive and hope to share with you in the new year.

    Reply

  3. Merry Christmas! Remembering our loved ones and living on well ! You are strong and Charles is so proud of you and your family!

    Reply

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