A hug from heaven?


Last night I had an unusual experience. I woke up from a series of short scary dreams. Not necessarily nightmares but the sort of stories Charles used to tell to spook me. When I woke up, I was verbally talking, telling Charles to quit pranking me because the dreams were messing up my sleep.

I was lying on my left side. Then I get this odd but pleasant tingly feeling all over and feel gentle pressure everywhere on my body like I’m being wrapped up in something warm and cozy. Truthfully it was the most surreal experience I have ever had.

Then this feeling of pure bliss like I’ve not ever felt before washes over me. Absolute euphoria and a little bit of fear because the sensations I am feeling are so unusual. I still have not made a move at all and am not sure I can but something is telling me not to try.

I remember the last time this happened and it was so abbreviated and I wanted it to stay– to feel wrapped in it. Then it dawns on me. This is a hug. And it’s the second hug and the third odd experience where I felt Charles’ presence so distinctly.

The other two were so surprising that I think I aborted the experience by trying to control it. Or maybe it was fear stemming from utter surprise. I had vowed if it ever happened again to “let it in” so to speak and not try to control it. This time it lasted about a minute and a half. Afterward, I fell into a deep, blissful happy sleep.

Are grieving parents crazy?  Or are we simply more aware? Or just desperate for our lost child? What was it? I’d write it off if the feeling if I had not been so awake and so aware this time around.

Nobody gave more genuine heartfelt hugs than Charles. You just felt like you had hit the emotional lottery when he hugged you. Always so full of love. So that’s what I’m going with. I got a hug from my boy and I hope I get one again.


Published by

AnneMoss Rogers

AnneMoss Rogers is a mental health and suicide education expert, mental health speaker, suicide prevention trainer and consultant. She is author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW. She raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost her younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. She is a motivational speaker who empowers by educating and provides life saving strategies and emotionally healthy coping skills. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now that's the legacy she carries forward in her son's memory. Mental Health Speakers Website.

30 thoughts on “A hug from heaven?”

  1. Still waiting…one can only hope, right?
    I read some things that if you are still sad most of the time, they can’t get through. I don’t believe that. Of course, we have no way of knowing why and when this happens, or if? Perhaps it’s not meant for everyone.

    1. I would suggest meditating. You have to get lost in the moment and open up your thoughts. And while it may or may not happen then, you will get signs. Who knows what yours will be. But they are there. It’s allowing yourself to try to find some quiet in your mind. That is hard for me. I use a guided meditation on souncloud. Lots of free ones.

  2. Not a child, but a close friend who died in a car accident and my deceased mother when my dad was dying. I have felt these hugs and am glad to know that I am not crazy. Thank you, Anne, for your writings.

  3. During the first few days after our son died by suicide I had a very similar experience. That was the only time I physically “felt” him. On several other occasions I’ve had what I call Godwinks. At the funeral home while planning the burial of his ashes I was left alone in a small conference room. I was pleading with God to let me know my baby was ok. I heard a series of electronic sounding chimes. I had forgotten my phone that day and there was nothing in that room that could have possibly made that sound – no electronics equipment if any kind. I had such a wonderful feeling of relief. Several months later I was having a particularly rough morning. I looked outside and there was a huge, beautiful male cardinal just sitting in the middle of our pool cover (we cover it in the winter). I thought to myself “hello Jennings”. Right after that, on the way to church, the song we danced to for the mother/son dance at his wedding played on the radio. It was (My mama loves me, she loves me…)Loves Me Like a Rock by Paul Simon – something I almost never hear played. I cried like a baby but also felt a peace come over me. My daughter-in-law had several “hugging” experiences with him in the days after his death.

    There is so much we can’t comprehend but I believe these experiences are as real as can be.

      1. I also am a grieving mother and I had a visit from my son the other night and it was so surreal…. I pray it happens again.
        It’s those things we have to cling to.

  4. This was a “visit” – I’ve had just one since my daughter passed nearly 4 years ago. Felt so blessed to have experienced it and energized afterwards. I felt her warmth and comfort.

  5. Anne Moss, how ironic to read this today. I just finished a shop-along interview with a man who was a dead ringer for my brother. Frank was killed in May on the day before he would have ended a 300 mile wheel chair marathon from Atlanta to Savanah. He was 30 miles from his destination.

    I do not think my respondent noticed that my eyes were “watering.” It was eerie and mesmerizing to watch the mouth I knew so well form words and the familiar bend to his nose– all on the face of a stranger.

    I am so sorry for you loss, Anne Moss.

  6. I have experienced and know that loved ones are with us.
    The grief website of George Anderson has a lot of information on how love and that energy and our bonds remain.

  7. Absolutely real. I’ve had a number of similar experiences. Your allowing precipitates it. Being in the moment, without fear and judgement. You are surrounded with love seen and unseen, including Charles.

  8. Anne Moss,
    I believe it is real, that Charles was hugging you to tell you he is alright!
    I have another friend whose sister passed away in an auto accident. She told me her sister appeared to her to let her know she was fine.
    I believe he is reaching down from heaven to comfort you!
    Thank you for sharing!

    1. Love this, Anne Moss! What an amazing experience. There really is nothing more wonderful than hugging especially with your child. Thanks so much for sharing.

  9. 💛🙏 Just like heaven is real, so are your experiences, dreams, thoughts and hugs. You gave birth to an energy which is a soul who is your son Charles, still. He lives on and watches over you all. I am so happy you allowed that moment to happen and accept from him. He came to comfort you and you slept with ease.

  10. AnneMoss,
    I’ve got to say that I have had a similar experience with a loved one. I know there are ways that the universe works that we do not know. I believe it was an authentic experience. I believe yours was too. But I don’t think we can solicit such experiences, just take them in if offered.

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