All this noise

Me: Some days I think, “How will I ever get through to people?” No one can hear me. I just feel drowned out.

Alter Ego: Everyone feels that way.  

Me: I know that. But I feel that way today, damn it. 

Alter Ego: So what do you want a pity party? 

Me: No. I just want to be heard. I keep pushing and pushing and pushing. I feel like I’m yelling but the crowd around me drowns me out and it makes me feel like my message is just not important. 

Alter Ego: You know there is so much noise out there, it takes time to get through.

Me: Eight years? What if I never do? What if I never find an agent for my book? I will have let Charles down. Let myself down

Alter Ego: What happened to all that confidence? Confidence you had yesterday? 

Me: Evaporated. I know it’s temporary. But it’s such a struggle that some days I just feel defeated. 

Alter Ego: It’s a marathon not a sprint. Hopefully this venting session will help you regroup.

Me: I know this technology world. If I feel this way– is it any wonder our teenagers do? Is it any wonder those suffering feel so awful?

Alter Ego: That’s why you have to stay at it. 

Me: Some days my timing is just off. Why can’t I get one damn break at anything? 

Alter Ego: It’s not about big breaks. It’s about perseverance. It’s about consistency. Some days will suck. Other days things will soar. 

Me: I Just hate sometimes that people have absolutely no trust in me. Dismiss me like I’m going to depress the universe or something. 

Alter Ego: Invest in those that do believe in you. You know there are a lot here who help spread the message. Focus on that. And them. 

Me: That’s true. I can’t be all whiny.  

Alter Ego: Don’t undermine yourself. It won’t help. You know that. 

Me: I do.

Alter Ego: Time to snap out of it. 

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Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am an emotionally naked TEDx speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my youngest son, Charles to substance use disorder and suicide June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, and grief. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory. Professional Speaker Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.

8 thoughts on “All this noise”

  1. I feel the same way at times, but then every now and then someone comes along and shares with me just how much what I have written helps them. Sometimes I get to see people recover from moments that most would have thought were not possible and then I know – I’m doing what I can to help all those I can. Keep writing, keep reaching out – you’re doing what the world needs you to do in my opinion.

  2. You’re making a difference, Anne Moss! We all have days of doubt, but if you could see yourself as we see you, you’d be so impressed. Keep up the good work and thank you!

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