Dear Charles from Julie

I know you will never receive this but I hope you see this from heaven. Your loss has impacted me tremendously.

I’m sitting here crying because I once too, actually numerous times, thought about and tried to take my life. But I never thoroughly thought of all of the aftermath, or the pain it would have brought upon everyone who loves you.

I remember when we were just in middle school. You were one of my best friends including Jacob, Sam, Lexi, Vania, and Samantha.

We went to the movies and I remember you stood up for us when another group of kids were being rude in the theaters. He punched you right in the face and you just took it. The cops came, and we ended up going home.

I remember my birthday party when we went to chuck e cheeses and blasted the music all singing in the car on the way home and singing karaoke and eating all the food my mom made us.

I remember we went to kings dominion and spent all day riding roller coasters and having such a good time. You, Sam, and Jacob would always ride your bikes from your neighborhood all the way to summer lake to see us.

We lost touch over the years after you were sent away to another high school. We still talked now and then and you used to tell me when you would be coming back to chesterfield but, I never made that time to see you and I feel extremely regretful for that.

Charles, you were such a goof ball and continuously spread smiles and kept me laughing. I am so thankful for you bringing such happiness into my life. It really is unfortunate that we are all left in this world missing you.

If I only knew you were struggling so much to the point you would take your life. If only I even knew how bad your drug addiction was. I would have been there for you like I should have.

It could have been me taking my life. I was so weak, and you have made me stronger.

Thank you, I miss you, and I love you Charles. We all do.

Love, Julie

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The letter from heaven I wish I would get

Published by

Anne Moss Rogers

I am the mother of two boys and the owner of emotionally naked, a site that reached a quarter million people in its first 18 months. I am a writer and professional public speaker on the topics of suicide, addiction, mental illness, and grief and currently working on getting a book published. I lost my youngest son, Charles, 20, to suicide June 5, 2015. As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.

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