There is one thing about this blog I’ve struggled with. Am I being selfish by sharing all that I do? Am I being a spotlight hog?
As a child I was often admonished for “wanting attention.” I was told, “the world doesn’t revolve around you,” shaming me into a world of feminine propriety to keep things to myself.
I have finally come to a conclusion.
I talk, I write because I want to hear from others about their journey and I am healing emotionally as a result of being able to help others. I’ve always wanted to take inventory of how others have resolved problems so I could decide how I would resolve mine.
I don’t know that I would have stuck with this blog without the village of influence we’ve cultivated here.
That would never have happened if I didn’t put myself out there. I wouldn’t be able to figure out how odd, or how normal, our journey was or is without your stories.
My public method of tackling an issue may be unorthodox but who says you have to do things according to a recipe?
The truth is I am not afraid of the spotlight and I am not afraid of shining a spotlight on subjects we talk little about. I never have been. It’s just not in my DNA. I often wondered why aren’t we talking? Why do so many feel such shame when things don’t go perfectly? Isn’t that life? Isn’t that how you learn?
The only way I can get through the death of my son by suicide is to connect with others.
That’s what I crave.
I craved it when my son was alive and we were struggling to find resources to help him.
I want to share him, too. I feel he has a lot to teach us in death that I didn’t appreciate when he was alive.
Reading your stories, listening to others distracts me from wallowing and turning inward. Focusing on others reminds me that I am part of a much bigger picture and it’s not all about me.
Not one comment on any post or article I have ever written goes unread. I cannot focus solely on my own pain because that makes it impossible to find any joy in life and I just don’t want to live that way.
The more attention I can wrestle on the subjects I shine a spotlight on here the better. Solutions don’t happen without conversation.
Anne, you are helping so many people with your honest open dialogue about suicide and
the tragic loss of your son. Mental illness and suicide have been topics which too many people have hidden. My husband’s suicide may have been prevented if he could have talked about his severe depression and anxiety with his physician colleagues and friends. He was a thoughtful creative writer as your Charles was, and I feel he could have helped so many people by writing about his pain. I am finally seeing some positive results with my son who has bipolar, depression, anxiety and alcoholism. He is now talking about it with his friends and getting help. Thank you for all you do, Anne. You have given many people hope.
Ann that is such good news about your son. Made my day!
This would make a wonderful prologue for a book.
Keep sowing the seeds of joy, Anne Moss.
Suzie
Anne Moss, it helps you and it helps others. My therapist encouraged me to write in a journal. This is no different. One of my most helpful outlets was facebook. Go figure. Whatever works for you…and if it is beneficial to others, well then, why worry?
Say what you need to say.
Please don’t listen to those doubts! The ripple effect of your efforts are spreading far beyond what any of us know. It just happens I’ve got my long-sleeved royal blue “Charles” t-shirt on today and I bet someone will ask me about the quote on the front. Someone always does and that gives me an opportunity to share your family’s story and your courage in sharing it. Inevitably, I will hear from the person who asked about the quote a story of someone dear to them struggling with an addiction or mental illness. You must keep on shining! God gave you such a bright light for a reason. When I look back at our childhood years, you were the friend who was never boring or quiet (like I thought I was). I can see now God made me the way I am to relate one-on-one with someone, rather than a larger group, like your “bright light” personality does. You are NOT a spotlight hog. Just the opposite – you are using your talents and personality to help others. Never doubt that for a minute. Turn up the wattage and dream big. You’re making a difference in a big way!
You are not boastful, arrogant, hurtful or talking/ walking just to be in the spotlight. You, Anne are a courageous, giving person with a heart of gold that shares her pain, so we can help one another in this unwanted grief journey. I say, SHINE ON🌅, illuminate the need for improved Mental Health resources for the mentally ill, and research to treating mental illness. I want hope for mental issues, like other illnesses that receive all kinds of government, and Medical attention. Okay, I understand being hopeful in healing from physical illness( Cancer, MS , Diabetes etc.), but why is it there is such despair and lack of support with mental illness! I feel especially sad tonight, because just found out about a friend’s son who died from a drug overdose. It’s too much.
Jan, so sorry to hear about your son’s friend.
Anne, thank you for putting yourself and your fight out there. We need to talk about this. And, we need to share it. Sharing it together, even by just reading the same posts and being able to comment, connects us and helps each one of us bear one another’s burden and get through another day.
Teri, thank you❣
You are not boastful, arrogant, hurtful or talking/ walking just to be in the spotlight. You, Anne are a courageous, giving person with a heart of gold that shares her pain, so we can help one another in this unwanted grief journey. I say, SHINE ON🌅