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Phrases like, “What can I do?” or “Call if you need anything,” are too open ended for parents who’ve just lost a child. Try to be more intentional with yes or no questions, such as, “I’ll come mow your lawn on Saturday. Would 10am be a good time?”
In the early stages of grief, it’s hard to make decisions and the number we are able to make is limited. And any stories you have about the child that died are appreciated. We always love those.
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I made a pact that I was not going to get upset with people regarding what they said after Charles’ suicide. After all, it’s hard to know what to say and I was thankful when someone said anything. However, there are some classic zingers you should know to avoid.
I think this is the worst. If your child had stigmatized illnesses, you are used to nothing. No emotional support. No conversation. No resources. Saying nothing appears as though you are erasing this child because the mention of him/her makes you uncomfortable. Many times people make excuses like, “I don’t … Read more...