I am so hurt and destroyed by your actions, especially in the last few years.
I don’t understand when one of your children tells you how they feel and how destroyed they are that you can be so cold and heartless. I spent my whole life feeling not good enough and never ever being able to make you happy. When I tried so hard. I just wanted you to say one time something was good or “good job” or to feel like I finally did something right.
Raymond would never do what was asked of him. However, any time Raymond needs something or is sick still to this day you turn up there to make him food. You call and check on him.
I have been sick since this accident. You know it and you haven’t texted called or even seem to care. When was the last time you called or texted and asked, “How is your neck or back?” Or, “How was your doctor’s appointment?” I can’t remember when it was that’s how long ago it was.
When Thomas’s wife is traveling for work you make him meals or tell him to come by for dinner. You call or text and get back to them.
Me? I’m the daughter you don’t care about. One that can’t ever do anything right.
I can remember crying myself to sleep all the time as a kid because I wasn’t good enough or I knew you didn’t love me. I can remember in high school feeling like I was stupid because of the comments you made to me. I came home from college and was sick and exhausted and you would get mad that I didn’t want to ride horses with you but sleep in and take a day off.
So what did I do? I rode so you would be happy.
The pressure that you put on me to be better than I was at whatever I did was awful. Even when I was an adult I still couldn’t do anything right. I arrange all the family get-togethers. I took you to all the grandkids’ activities while they were all growing up. Raymond and Thomas did nothing. I took you to see a play in New York that you really wanted to see. I drove because you didn’t want to drive or even fly. It was painful and difficult for me to drive with a neck brace after my car accident. After the trip, you told me it was awful going to New York with me. That was crushing and so hurtful after all that planning.
I took you because you wanted to go so badly. Neither of my brothers has ever taken you somewhere like that. I bought you a ticket so you could attend the play you loved. Meanwhile, Thomas wouldn’t even tell you what hotel they were staying in for Andrea’s graduation. They never invited you to anything.
Apparently, I am the one who doesn’t do anything for you. I am the one who isn’t good enough.
When Dad has to go to the hospital in the middle of the night who goes with you? Me! I stay with you the whole time and only leave when it comes time for work. But my brother? Oh no. You don’t want to have them do it because they are “busy” and have real jobs.
I will always love you even though I am so hurt by you. My wish is one day I’ll be good enough and you will realize I was your child who cared and tried so hard. I was the one who was telling the truth. I wish you would one day realize your son is a selfish self-centered lying asshole. And that he has been so horrible, mean, and abusive to me.
I’m sorry I was never good enough for you.
Your hurt and destroyed daughter