This time of year, I move a little slower while every one else speeds up. I annoy easier, struggle to concentrate, and the grief is more pronounced.
This will be my fifth holiday since my son, Charles’, suicide. I’m not mulling over regrets or wondering why I missed the signs.
I just ache.
Even the Christmas carols drain my spirits. What’s more, I resent them. How does one get mad at a bunch of happy, peppy songs? But it feels they are ganging up on me, assaulting my senses and trying to force me to be merry and bright when I feel dull and sluggish. How dare they do that.
This is probably the time of year when I should do more giving back because that does help. But I find my energy isn’t up to the task. There are too many steps for me to carry out.
So do me a favor if you would. Do remember someone this season who has lost a loved one. Pay special attention to them, give them a bit more TLC, ask about the person they lost.