“Just be yourself,” is a common phrase.
That can be hard to figure out when you’re in transition or experiencing a change such as divorce, illness, devastating loss or going through adolescence or menopause.
It’s not a good feeling being at a cross roads, lost at the intersection, and left in the desert without a compass. And it’s hard to find yourself again. When I have found myself at this place I’ve struggled to figure out what going forward means. What is that and where do I turn? People at such a juncture often make big shifts such as a move, change in job. In my case, I sold my business. My husband, on the other hand, took a new job. When my passion shifted, my goals did, too.
This causes anyone to question their purpose, the meaning of life, which has left me frustrated, uncomfortable, confused and often overwhelmed.
I wish I could tell you that there was a 1, 2, 3 to right the ship. But what a brain needs is time to sort through the what ifs and maybes and figure the best way to go whether that’s new, unexpected journeys to somewhere else, running a first marathon, or taking a class at the local museum.
Change is hard.
After several roadblocks, I’ve wobbled in a direction feeling sure of myself one day and in total disarray the next, questioning my every move and feeling like I left the flashlight at home. The path I have chosen of talking about suicide is always met with resistance. That’s never comfortable. And never boring either.