This will offend some people, but I have come to hate the phrase, “My prayers were answered.”
When my son’s drug abuse turned to addiction and he died by suicide, my prayers were not answered. Does that mean my prayers were not good enough? Was I not worthy? Did I not go to church enough to be on the prayer radar?
It’s not any of that. It’s simply that Jesus, Buddha, God, Goddesses, saints, sons of God, or any deity can’t fix my tragedy. And what happened was not the result of a life poorly lead or my failure in parenting skills.
I’m not trashing religion because faith of all kinds does have the power to heal. I just can’t look to someone else, even Jesus, to fix my broken heart nor can I point to some higher power to blame for the tragedy.
When it comes to my healing, I had to invest in me and have faith in myself. That’s where I had to start.
I am an emotionally naked mental health speaker, and author of the Book, Diary of a Broken Mind and co-author with Kim O'Brien PhD, LICSW of Emotionally Naked: A Teacher's Guide to Preventing Suicide and Recognizing Students at Risk. I raised two boys, Richard and Charles, and lost my younger son, Charles to addiction and suicide on June 5, 2015. I help people foster a culture of connection to prevent suicide, reduce substance misuse and find life after loss. My motivational mental health keynotes, training and workshop topics include suicide prevention, addiction, mental illness, anxiety, coping strategies/resilience, and grief.
As talented and funny as Charles was, letting other people know they matter was his greatest gift. And now the legacy I try and carry forward in my son's memory.
Mental Health Speakers Website. Trained in ASIST and trainer for the evidence-based 4-hour training for everyone called safeTALK.
View all posts by Anne Moss Rogers
10 thoughts on “Jesus can’t fix this”
I also came to resent the phrase “prayers being sent” from people that I sure know don’t go to church or lead a spiritual life. Now, it’s something one can’t really see and judge but it just feels so beaten down and automatic. Not sincere. I collected the THOUGHT behind it, that people want to say something nice and let you know they are thinking of you and your child, so it’s all good but I still kinda cringe every time….
,
There are phrases that make us bristle. But it is hard to know what to say. But given the gravity of the situation, I wish people worked a little harder at it.
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I also came to resent the phrase “prayers being sent” from people that I sure know don’t go to church or lead a spiritual life. Now, it’s something one can’t really see and judge but it just feels so beaten down and automatic. Not sincere. I collected the THOUGHT behind it, that people want to say something nice and let you know they are thinking of you and your child, so it’s all good but I still kinda cringe every time….
,
There are phrases that make us bristle. But it is hard to know what to say. But given the gravity of the situation, I wish people worked a little harder at it.
I have also come to hate the phrase “We were so blessed, ” when someone’s prayers are answered. Does that mean I am not blessed but you are?
Oh Man I hate that one too. And feel the same way! I say it to myself so I don’t say it out loud.
Amen.
Man that is a great ending to this one. Why didn’t I think of it? But that’s ok because you did.
It is! It takes a village. Great piece, Anne Moss.
That it does but out village has fallen apart. And I see fewer people coming together to raise a barn for their neighbors
We ♥️ you, Anne Moss.
Thank you. Right back at you Leigh