You can have hours of conversation but often the really good stuff is tucked away in the, “by the way.”
All previous conversation is about vetting you to see if you can be trusted. To get comfortable with you. To decide how to tell you or whether to tell you at all. Or working up the nerve to figure out how and when to tell you.
Charles would tuck a lot of nuggets in the “by the way.” Friends of mine have often tucked some real zingers in that phrase.
So be patient.
If your gut is telling you something is up, be an active listener. Listen more, lecture less. You might just find out what’s really going on behind the, “by the way.”