Charles’ friend Michael’s brother sent this to me to share. Thank you for sharing Thomas. Keep writing! I can feel this in my soul. It will help other young adults to know they are not alone. Readers, please comment.
by Thomas Stewart
Better off asleep
I don’t wanna think
But shit I’m still counting sheep
Cleaning the vomit from the sink
I know that they love me
I know that they care
But they can’t fuckin’ see
Its my final frontier.
I’m flooded with tears
Hit it and shit disappears
Death I don’t fear
Shit, it’s invited
Me? I’m excited
Shit even delighted
They say I’m shortsighted
They say I’m bipolar
I just shrug off my shoulder
I’d take back my birth
Reezin’ was right*
Shit’s hell on earth
I’m losing my mind and my will to fight
Lucky I lost all the blades
Fuck is it day or night?
Can’t tell with shut shades
But in comes the light
Even in darkness
Sometimes it shines
Peaks you a smile right through the blinds
I’m awake in a dream
In it I’m clean
I’m happy and free
The things that I see
Make no sense to me
Overuse the fabreeze
My pipe has been seized
Like my body on lean
Shit call me a fien
Wipe up the blood mister clean
*Reezin’ refers to Charles’ rapper name, Reezin’ the Revolutionary
Thomas, Thank you for sharing your light on bi-polar. I share your views in that I’ve “been there” but that glimpse of light showed me there are others like us. If we’re gone, who will help them? And in helping others, I’m helped myself. xo
So, I go to my Psych
I try all the meds
Some are pathetic
Some not so bad.
I reached out to God
And asked Him Why?
When I woke in the morn
He said,”give another try”.
Crying and sleeping
Sleeping and crying
I kept a journal
Day after day…
I was barely whining.
By some odd reason
There was a time
When I stopped
Said-There’s no way
I don’t wanna live this line.
Still a dim light, so ok
I’ll fight this
With even a tenth
Of my wanting
To live to help others
A new day is dawning.
He said remember
My mercies are new
“Just ask Me” -raved,
So I’ll live like I’m dying
Each day I am saved.
Hanging on by a thread
At times I don’t want to
But God’s not through
His voice ever prompts me
To reach out to speak
To remember that pain,
In hopes someone hears
And considers the same.
Live for yourself
But don’t forget others
Cause someone you know
May hear and discover…
Life.
Sending my love & light of thanks to you.
Summer
Beautiful Summer. A lot of good writing here
My heart wide open. 😶
You don’t know me and I don’t know you and as crazy as this may sound to you…I care.
Your poem is beautifully written and meaningful. Please continue to share your gift.
Thomas, your poetry is hauntingly beautiful. I am so sorry for your pain. I hope you will reach out to someone you can trust & share these thoughts & feelings. There is help out there!
Beautiful, Thomas. Thank you for sharing your pain, your heart. May you cling to hope in the dark times… You have a gift to share.