Lost and found journal entry from after my daughter’s suicide

Maggie Moyler

by Charlotte Moyler

November 16, 2021 

While straightening up my office, I ran across a ratty-looking notebook. It had no real meaning and I almost tossed it. I am quick to get rid of things. A quick glance through it, made me sit down and read. Unusual entries gave greater meaning as I look back over the years since losing Maggie to suicide

Here is my long-forgotten journal entry… 

April 7, 2014 

I have a story to tell but I don’t want to tell it. It is a very sad story full of great pain and suffering. … Read more...


Triggers are sights, sounds, actions, people, situations, and songs that trigger an emotional response. They may produce uncomfortable emotional or psychiatric symptoms, such as anxiety, panic, discouragement, despair, or negative self-talk.

Fireworks can trigger PTSD. A lighter can trigger a lapse into self-harm. Chronic illness can trigger anxiety and so on.

Grief triggers are reminders of the one I lost. In my case, that’s a tow-headed, white-blonde three-year-old boy at the beach or a curly-headed, tall skinny teenager playing lousy basketball. I see it and I stop, stare, and watch the movie in my head.

Some songs trigger my tears …