There is no shame in telling someone you are depressed

by Danny Gautama

Telling someone is not a weakness but an act of courage that makes you stronger.

So often, people are afraid to tell family members or friends about depression. You did not harm anyone. You did not steal from an old lady or rob a bank. You are facing a problem that is hard for you to deal with alone. It can be hard in the long run if, god forbid, it gets worse.

You are not saying anything offensive to others by telling someone you are depressed. You have the right to express yourself if you feel uncomfortable as long as you are causing harm to no one.

My beautiful friend you are already assuming, mind reading, and over-generalizing that people are going to judge you and think different of you or that you are weak.

These are all traits of negative thinking and negative thinking is mostly inaccurate.

The people who love you the most and unconditionally will be happy that you told them so they can work with you to find treatment and you will feel better, because the more people you tell who love you the more support you will have, just like when I told my families, extended families and friends about my depression.

Let’s say a minute percentage of people judge you including your family. Then take the next step to see your Doctor and they will work with you to finding the best professional help. If you find that nobody understands you, it could be because they are not informed about this and you can educate them by sharing videos and books about depression with them or maybe having a professional talk to your families, friends, and General Practitioner about this.

You are not alone

There are millions of people going through depression and if you don’t know, even celebrities go through it too. So it is not a big surprise if you tell someone you have depression.

Why are you suffering in silence when you don’t have to? Why are you worried about being judged? Your life is worth happiness, isn’t it?

Sharing your story adds even more value to your life because one day you will inspire others to do the same. I recently had an article published in The Windsor Star, where I talked about my OCD, depression, anxiety, and agoraphobia. Was I worried about telling others that I struggled? NO!

My focus was not if people would judge me but how many people I can help by letting them know that it is okay and that you can fight and get better. I had overwhelming amazing comments and shares. So this goes to show you, not many people judge you as you may think.

It is not as bad as you think

If people judge you then that is not your problem that is theirs.

Your problem is your struggles and what will help this, is being okay and brave to tell someone you care about how you are feeling. Please, do not feel ashamed of how you feel. Don’t let your life slip away. The longer you wait, the longer it will be to find happiness.

You are hurting and we want to help you but you have to let us know. The first step is always the bravest and courageous. So be brave and tell others how you feel. Support is there. All you have to do is reach out.

Just remember this. Your depression is NOT YOU.

It does not define you and it does not change the fact of how amazing and courageous of a human being you are. You just have an unwanted guest. If someone has heart disease are they not going to tell their Doctor?

Free yourself and let others know today. It will be the first step in getting your treatment. I thought I could handle depression alone but it was immensely difficult. Once I told my, families then I told my doctor, friends and my community I felt so much pressure lifted off my chest. I embraced and exposed myself emotionally and I relish every bit of it without any regret whatsoever.

Choose any way you would like to communicate with someone. It could be just talking to them or even writing all your feelings down and giving them to someone you trust. Whatever way is the most comfortable for you should be the way to go.

If it is hard for you to start then try my trick

I first eliminate all the negative thoughts in my head and I clear my mind. Then I take in deep and steady breaths and focusing on my breathing followed by saying positive affirmations about myself. “I’m not my depression” “I am loved” “Caring people will help me”. Good music also helps me alleviate moments when I feel very anxious.

We first want to go in with a calm state rather than being too anxious because if you are anxious then you overthink and overthinking will talk you out of it such as what if this happens? Or what if that happens?

Just take a deep breath and just tell them. And that is it you did it. Whatever happens, let it happen and how they react is not in your control but I am very proud of you for your strength and courage and as I stated above try to educate them about how serious depression is if they do not understand.

YOU ARE NOT WEAK!

This is something you need to repeat to yourself over and over again. YOU ARE NOT WEAK. You are strong, courageous and brave to ask for help. You are a hero.

I am over 240 pounds and I am not weak in any way shape or form. Don’t fall into the stigma that weak people are depressed and weak people have anxiety. That is total nonsense and further from the truth.

Look how much you have endured. Look what you go through every day. That my friend is strength, not weakness.

You are a champion and you are powerful. If you don’t believe this then believe me.

God bless you my dear strong friend and take care. Never give up, keep moving forward. Believe in yourself. Be a legend.

Sincerely, Danny Gautama
Windsor, Ontario
dannygautamawellness@gmail.com

Letter from depression