Losing my child to suicide has forced me to take another look at my life. And it’s actually liberating to ditch things and basically spring clean my brain and no longer care about…..
1. What others think. I have never been one to worry a lot about this. But once I lost a child by suicide to depression and addiction, I totally let go of caring what others thought of me personally. You either take me as I am or you don’t. And conversely, I’m not going to be passing judgment on others either. It’s probably why I feel so bold about the mental health cause. I’m on a tear now and I will stop the day I die.
2. The small stuff. I am not going to sweat the small stuff. I’m not going to go postal about something I know is out of my control. For example, I’m not going to freak out when someone cuts me off in traffic. Nine times out of 10, the person is just making an error. And guess what? I’ve made an error in traffic, too.
3. Material goods. I could care less about stuff. I want less stuff. And I’m pickier about what I do get. I would rather pay for something I really want than have a bunch of things that I am not excited about. This whole grief experience has deflated any love of shopping I may have had and I’d rather spend my time with friends or family instead of the mall.
I also do not waste my time on the friends that I no longer care for they seem maybe to have forgotten I lost a child? They are wrapped up in their own life ? Not sure , I’m so much more choosy that’s for sure , I also guard myself more when meeting new people ! I do have and I’m so blessed to have friends that stuck with me throughout this journey, oh how I love them ❤️ I want to talk about my son and they let me ! Yes I have changed but as you know how couldn’t we have not changed !! holidays are super hard
Happy Thanksgiving to you Ann Moss you’re the very best ! ❤️
Thank you Wendy. I love this plan. Why waste time. And we can see through people now. It’s like loss gave us x-ray vision.
My perspective on just about everything changed when my son died. ‘Image’/self projection matters zero to me. My favorite saying now is “If you wanna know who your tribe is, speak your truth. Then see who sticks around. Those are the people who get a spot in your blanket fort.” After all, silence implies consent and there are so many things that can longer be kept silent.
I love that Maureen. You should write a blog post!
I have the same exact feelings after going through crisis with my son. In addition to your points, I also now choose wisely who I want to be around. I don’t waste my time with others who don’t add value or I can’t add value to their lives. I’ve narrowed my circle to people who really matter to me.
That is such a smart self care move Nancy. I am proud of you for pruning that friend tree.
As always, Anne Moss, you nailed that one on the head. It’s as simple as the death of our children bring into clear focus what is truly important and what is not. Such a high price tag for this gift. <3
As always, Anne Moss, you nailed that one on the head. It’s a simple as a loss of the death of our children Hudson to clear Focus what is important and what is not. Such a high price tag for this gift.
Amen Sister! You are fighting the good fight!
P.S. I stopped giving a f*uck about what people think about me a very long time ago. If I want something for a cause I will just do what I have to do! People don’t like it? You may as well keep it to yourself bc anyone who knows me knows I’m going to do whatever I want to anyway!
Rock On!
You go girl!
Yep. I know the feeling. Might not be good politics, but oh well.
You are making it work and that’s all we can ask. It’s never the same after. If you ever need my help, let me know.
You have just explained it in a nutshell. My little man is buried 2 blocks from my house. I can stand in my yard and see his marker. At night it is lite up like a runway. When I go out of town he is my first stop before I leave and my first stop when I return.
How did you decide where to bury him? I don’t know whether to bury Charles in the family plot, here in richmond or wait until he can be buried with me some day (hopefully not soon).