My best friend died of anorexia

by Kendall Baker

Trigger warning: Strong Emotional Content.  

My best friend died of anorexia
My best friend died of anorexia

I kissed the top of her head and walked toward the door.  I paused.  I knew this was it.  I turned around to look at her and try to memorize her image, an image I barely recognized due to her physical state.  

“I’ll see you later,” I said. “I will.”

Katie smiled a forced smile and nodded.  She knew what I meant.

I let the door close behind me.  I was twenty nine and she thirty, but I knew that was the last time I’d … Read more...

I have been clean for 4 months, 1 week, and 5 days

by Kendall Baker

stop watch

The counter on my phone counts it for me down to the seconds, which, at the moment of this writing is rolling over to 11,472,931.

The counter is one of those little things that keeps me going in moments where I really want to throw in the towel–moments where I’m so desperate for relief that I debate whether it might be worth it to reset that clock. Of course, I’ve reset that clock enough times to know that it’s never worth it.

The crushing shame that comes with hitting the reset button should be enough to keep … Read more...