Beloved Son and Brother
by Andy Tilton
“You are out of our reach, but not out of our hearts and minds.”
Mental Wellness begins with these words spoken out of necessity for a healthy recovery and mental healing:
Dear and Precious Adam,
As your father, I wish to express my brokenness and bitterness over your departure from our reach.
After searching my mind and heart, I am now ready to forgive you for leaving your sister, mother, and me so soon and without a word or explanation.
I have come to accept the fact that your pain was so severe and unbearable, your mind so clouded and broken, your only hope of relief was a release of this life, and that you held on as long as you could for our sake.
I have also decided to forgive myself for my selfishness, my dreams for your future, and my hopes for your success in this world. I now understand some of the pain and suffering you were experiencing and the fact that we were not able to comfort you in a way that would allow you to stay here with us into manhood.
Even though our family was close, full of happy moments and wonderful holidays, I realize there were dark and scary times not uncommon nor unexpected.
For all those years of watching you grow into a fine young man, with a soft heart for your family and others, seeing and hearing from so many youth, how you helped them through tuff times– like the teenage girl you prayed and talked out of having an abortion, or the teenage boy you prayed with and talked out of taking his life, or the countless young people you took the time to minister and befriend in and out of school.
Your sister, mother, and I could not be more proud and thankful God gave you to us for this precious amount of time.
While we continue missing you, your smile, laughter, teasing, and most of all tender heart and loving ways, we know you are in Heaven with our Heavenly Father, watching over you and protecting you for all eternity.
We look forward to the day we will all be together again, “what a day that will be, when our Jesus we shall see, when we look upon his face…” and to add to these precious verses from that old hymn, “to look upon your face, to hold you in our arms once again, what a glorious day that will be…”
“you are out of reach, but not out of our hearts and minds.”
If you remain in an extended period of self-harm, deep depression, anxiety, or any other medical or physical condition, seek medical help, see your doctor, or seek a qualified counselor or therapist. Crisis lines are listed below. If you are struggling, do call and talk to someone.
USA Crisis Text 741-741
USA Crisis Line for LGBTQ Youth 1-866-488-7386
USA Crisis Text for LGBTQ Youth 678-678
USA TransLifeline 1-833-456-4566
USA Suicide Prevention Lifeline & Chat for the Deaf or Hearing impaired. Or dial 711 then 1-800-273-8255
United Kingdom Samaritans 116 123
Australia Crisis Line 13 11 14
Canada Crisis Line 1-833-456-4566
Canada TransLifeline 877-330-6366
International suicide hotlines