It’s been 9 years since the last time I saw you

by Cayla Fendick

Strong emotional content and suicide method referenced. If you are in crisis, text “help” to 741-741 or call 988

Cindy Fendick and her daughter Cayla Fendick

You were sitting at the counter at the Park Diner. It was the first and only time you had ever visited me at work, and I couldn’t believe you actually did come. Earlier that morning,

I was at your apartment, like almost every other morning you had off work–drinking coffee. You literally always made the best coffee and I “stole” one of your shirts (I still have it). You said you’d … Read more...

My mother’s suicide didn’t define how she lived

by Brynne Weaver

(Caption for the picture above: Barbara Ann DeTurk Weaver 05/18/1960 – 08/25/2005)

The thing about suicide is: everyone assumes everything was bad.

This assumption has bothered me for years. The day of my mom’s funeral – where the air was filled with an insurmountable heaviness, “So sorry, so terribly sorry, we never knew, we never thought….”

Yes, well. Neither did we.

My mom was extroverted, fun. She was loud, loved to laugh, and smoke and drink. She loved pranks. She loved her ’80s hair (long after the ’80s) and bright red lipstick. She loved us. She showered … Read more...