I hope you give this video just 51 seconds of your time. I am so sorry you feel so badly you are looking up how to hang yourself. My son, Charles, looked up this phrase, too.
He suffered from depression and an addiction to heroin and died by suicide. People who were hurting as much as you are have told me the videos below helped them. They are from my son’s hurting soul.
I miss him every single day. If you comment below, I will answer.