Community hearts— #griefheart number 267

So many hearts have been shared and sent to me for this #griefheart project.

These are just a few of the ones I could find in my inbox. They are texted to me, sent to me by email, through facebook private message and posted to my wall. Messaged through linkedin, twitter and even sent as presents. I don’t think this is even 25% of them because I can’t keep up with all of them. But it doesn’t matter. The sentiment is there as is the feeling of support.

The tribe here has embraced this project in memory of my son … Read more...

Comeback heart— #griefheart number 266

From Anne Moss: Michael is a thoughtful young man who attended a special needs school. He has mood disorder, sleep disorder a learning disability and has suffered from suicidal thoughts. With a lot of perseverance, he has worked his way up to being a manager at a restaurant and he sent this picture and a the narrative.

by Michael Widuch

On Monday October 30th, 2017, I started to come back to emotionally naked after drifting away for some time. I started on the article where I last read which was “CareTalks Presentation Video.”

I felt Anne Moss Rogers … Read more...

Chewed up heart— #griefheart number 264

Chewed up and spit out heart. If you’ve lost a child, you know the feeling.

But this is gum. Which is candy. which means that Charles loved it. Walmart? His favorite store. Why? Because on some day during the week, don’t remember which one, they’d run a special on candy at Walmart. Or maybe it was just the cheapest there. Second was WaWa because he could buy candy and get a sub.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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Lived experience heart— #griefheart number 261

My mother-in-law bought this gift for me on her trek across country. She got this on her stop in Nova Scotia, Canada.

She shared the story of this #griefheart project and about Charles. The lady who sold it to her listened. And then she told my mother-in-law her daughter had lost her son to suicide just one week prior.

Lived experience. I wish there were fewer of us with that.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

What

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Beach glass heart— #griefheart number 256

This heart reminds me of all of our family beach vacations at the Outer Banks. Charles loved being with his cousins there. He didn’t love going in the ocean a whole lot and despite signing him up for swim lessons and more swim lessons, he refused to participate in them and as a result was a terrible swimmer. So I didn’t encourage a lot of ocean swimming.

We live in a river town so I worried he was in danger of drowning. And I always watched him closely at the beach for the same reason. I think back to all … Read more...

Billy Derr’s meatlover heart—#griefheart number 255

From Anne Moss: This #griefheart in memory of Billy Derr. Billy died from an overdose caused by substance use disorder. Jenny didn’t just make pizza. She made memories. 

From Jenny Derr: We made homemade pizza tonight.

Which we made the last weekend Billy was home.  💙 Missing him a lot.

This one is a meatlover’s pizza.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Billy Derr’s Story

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Slime heart— #griefheart number 253

One of the cutest #griefhearts I have received! Shared with me by Ren Bell, co-facilitator of a Suicide Loss Support Group in Richmond, Virginia and mother of this cute little boy! Ren lost her sister to suicide. 

This so reminded me of Charles. His favorite past time at this age was creating a mess. Gooey. Slimy. Squishy. Mushy. Sticky. He loved it all. And often wound up wearing most of his mess. Of course, when it was all done, trying to get him to participate in clean up was near impossible.

Those were simpler times. Nice memories.

What is the

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Mile marker heart— #griefheart number 250

My heart feels like it has traveled a thousand miles. At moments, I feel I’m at the beginning of the trail. Other days I realize how far I’ve come since losing my son to suicide.

It’s been a long, painful journey–two steps forward, one step back and then forward again.  As the landscape has changed, I have adapted sometimes begrudgingly. Along the way, I’ve met others who have supported me and fed my soul. I’m moving forward. One step at a time. That is quite literally, a #griefheart journey.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.… Read more...

Celery heart— #griefheart number 227

Charles loved wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. Hated the celery that came with them. Hated just about any vegetable and made fun of me for liking celery.

I remember when someone told me that if Charles had a better diet it might help with his depression. I definitely agree. Despite raising him with the right foods in the house, Charles had the worst diet ever and he was far too stubborn to change it. He was a grazer who liked to eat at 1am. Whenever I have celery, it reminds me of the wings he loved and the celery he … Read more...

Love of junk food— #griefheart number 225

No one had a worse diet than Charles. He was not raised that way and I refused to buy it. Charles would find it at someone else’s house.

His favorite was candy, of course. But chips and anything that was processed was a-OK. Donuts, Doritos, Cheetos, Funyuns, Chex Mix etc. He even wrote a song about snax. It’s pretty funny. Oh how I worried his diet would cause health problems later. Since he died by suicide it seems so trivial now to have worried about junk food. But that’s what moms do.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain … Read more...