From Anne Moss: This #griefheart in memory of Billy Derr. Billy died from an overdose caused by substance use disorder. Jenny didn’t just make pizza. She made memories.
From Jenny Derr: We made homemade pizza tonight.
Which we made the last weekend Billy was home. 💙 Missing him a lot.
This one is a meatlover’s pizza.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
One of the cutest #griefhearts I have received! Shared with me by Ren Bell, co-facilitator of a Suicide Loss Support Group in Richmond, Virginia and mother of this cute little boy! Renee lost her sister to suicide.
This so reminded me of Charles. His favorite past time at this age was creating a mess. Gooey. Slimy. Squishy. Mushy. Sticky. He loved it all. And often wound up wearing most of his mess. Of course, when it was all done, trying to get him to participate in clean up was near impossible.
Those were simpler times. Nice memories.
My heart feels like it has traveled a thousand miles. At moments, I feel I’m at the beginning of the trail. Other days I realize how far I’ve come since losing my son to suicide.
It’s been a long, painful journey–two steps forward, one step back and then forward again. As the landscape has changed, I have adapted sometimes begrudgingly. Along the way, I’ve met others who have supported me and fed my soul. I’m moving forward. One step at a time. That is quite literally, a #griefheart journey.
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Charles loved wings at Buffalo Wild Wings. Hated the celery that came with them. Hated just about any vegetable and made fun of me for liking celery.
I remember when someone told me that if Charles had a better diet it might help with his depression. I definitely agree. Despite raising him with the right foods in the house, Charles had the worst diet ever and he was far too stubborn to change it. He was a grazer who liked to eat at 1am. Whenever I have celery, it reminds me of the wings he loved and the celery he … Read more...
No one had a worse diet than Charles. He was not raised that way and I refused to buy it. Charles would find it at someone else’s house.
His favorite was candy, of course. But chips and anything that was processed was a-OK. Donuts, Doritos, Cheetos, Funyuns, Chex Mix etc. He even wrote a song about snax. It’s pretty funny. Oh how I worried his diet would cause health problems later. Since he died by suicide it seems so trivial now to have worried about junk food. But that’s what moms do.
Peggy took this in Arizona after their locked bikes were stolen off their RV. Her sister commented,”Love the photo of the locks – keeps the perspective that our best ‘possessions’ are locked in our hearts.”
So true. I can lose stuff. Losing my child makes ‘stuff’ seem incredibly unimportant.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
Despite the fact Charles has left this earth, my love for him remains. Sometimes it’s hard to know where to put it and it makes me ache.
This photo a gift from my friend Dani. She spotted 25 feet away while walking in the woods.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.
So my friend Connie goes out to her mailbox and low and behold this is on her driveway. From where? She doesn’t know. When she went back out, it was gone. Her son is out there somewhere. Unfortunately, her family has suffered intensely from her son’s addiction for over 12 years.
Those cracks represent the broken hearts and lives that are lost as a result of this opiate epidemic. Some from overdose. Some from suicide like my son. And still others from drug related deaths such as accidents and illnesses from long-term use.
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This one was sent to me by a childhood friend, Leigh. She saw it and sent it because it reminded her of the #griefheart project.
“The permanence of this stone heart is just as the love between you and Charles–everlasting.”
Losing a child to suicide makes connecting hard because so many avoid you all together. It is comforting to have so many reach out and care. I’m sharing this with all of you moms and dads who’ve lost a child. You truly do love them forever.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
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In Georgia with family today and everyone is playing games. Charles loved, loved, loved games. He didn’t even have to be good at them to love them. This is one of the corn hole boards.
He would have enjoyed it so much– being with family and playing games, in and out of the grandparent’s hot tub and eating and joking with his cousins. So much joy and so much sadness at the same time.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by … Read more...
So many times I feel like my heart has been stomped on. It literally feels like a kick in the chest. Fortunately, it does rebound. I still have a lot of love to give and I have faith that I will figure out this journey.
For all the others out there suffering from the loss of a loved one by suicide, you know the feeling. Thanks for being here. Thanks for your support. And thanks for your sharing. It has made a difference.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
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Andi made a very special #griefheart for me. What could be more suitable for suicide awareness than a custom made graphic with a heart? I, too, am glad Andi is alive. She is giving back and supporting others. She is a suicide attempt survivor and suffers from borderline personality disorder and PTSD as a result of bullying.
Definitely share this! Thank you Andi. I think this might have to go on my resource page!
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by… Read more...
Since I became a mental health advocate in 2010, I have been promoting conversation about mental illness and addiction–the main causes of suicide. There was little of it despite my efforts but I see things changing. Unfortunately it was not before my son, Charles, died by suicide in 2015. Talking about suicide does not give people the idea but in fact it does just the opposite. Keep the conversation going because talk saves lives.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category… Read more...
My friend Laurie saw this and well, it was a notebook with hearts. I’m a writer. So it’s perfect. For all my posts from the heart. Maybe this means I will find Charles’ other notebooks.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.
When Charles died, my heart was crushed like eggshells. Emotional healing takes a lot of time and this journey really isn’t anything like I expected at the beginning.
I had no idea what grief was all about. It’s just not something people talk about. But I’ve made up for that! I consistently expose the world to my grueling, naked grief. I appreciate your taking this journey with me, holding me up when I need it, sharing your own painful journeys and being a part of this village.
I explain my #griefheart project here.
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