7 things we need our ‘ungrieving’ friends to know

When you lose a child, it changes you. And our friends don’t know how to act or what to do. They don’t know what to do with the new you even though you’re the same person you were in so many ways. So here’s what we want our friends to know.

1. You are enough

Period. We want you just the way you are and we crave your company. Being alone all the time can be a recipe for agony.

2. You can’t fix this

No one can. No one has the magic wand and no one has the perfect … Read more...

Is your grief worse than someone else’s?

Let’s face it. Losing a child hurts. Period. It’s devastating. So devastating you wonder how you will go on. You wake up every day for months and then it dawns on you that your worst nightmare is actually true.

It can’t hurt more.

All I can say is that a suicide is a loss like no other and you don’t know it until you’ve been through it.

A stigmatized death like suicide or overdose does carry with it some shame that other causes of death do not. It’s still a “less noble” cause of death for some reason. So there … Read more...

It’s messages like these that keep me going

You all have no idea how deeply appreciative and honored I am that you share your stories and messages with me. All of you inspire me. Becca, you’ve inspired me. Thank you –Anne Moss

Dear Mrs. Rogers-

I had no idea how to start this e-mail as I feel like I’m writing a lifelong friend, although you have no idea who I am! My name is Becca, I’m twenty-two and a psychology student at VCU. I switched my major to psychology when I was nineteen; my best friend and soulmate died by suicide or accidental heroin overdose.

I found your … Read more...

Comforting heart – #griefheart number 140

kitty-cat-heart

This one came from Trinidad and Tobago from my friend Virginia. Kitty cats are soft and cuddly. And comforting. Charles found comfort in animals. His preference might have been dogs but he loved all animals as long as they had fur. They loved him.

He’d walk in as a stranger and if that household had an animal, it would take to Charles immediately.

We are finding hearts in the darndest of places. The last place I expected to see a heart was underneath a kitty cat’s furry jaw.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See … Read more...