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Tag: #addiction

The display that stopped traffic

So four of us are setting up at the Out of the Darkness walk hosted by AFSP, American Foundation of Suicide Prevention. I look over and see a group from the McShin Foundation putting up the display you see featured here on this page. They, of course, had permission to erect the display and I was glad to see recognition of the link between suicide and addiction. McShin has recovery programs and housing for 18+ and just started a Recovery School, McShin Academy, at St. Joseph’s Villa.

It takes about four or five people 2.5 hours to set it … Read more...

BAAA

So Bill Maher and I did a presentation Wednesday night for parents at St. Gertrude about addiction. Bill is a nationally known addiction interventionist and he had spoken with the students earlier that day. The young ladies asked a lot of questions during Bill’s presentation. And, as Bill put it, they were amazing and surprisingly engaged on the topic.

Thanks to a generous alumnus who unfortunately lost a child to overdose, these students got the gift of addiction education. We are, after all, in an opiate epidemic and this is the world our kids are growing up in. Having a … Read more...

My dad was an addict because I wasn’t the ideal daughter

Self blame. Confusion. Loss of self esteem. Those are the results of silence. This letter is from a friend of a friend who is about 20 years old. Young people do want to talk about mental illness, addiction and suicide. But they won’t if you don’t. 

original

My best friend growing up was Jaimie Smith.* I’ll consider her my sister always. So I see you on her page often and read your blog here and there because I know how much your son’s death affected her.

I just wanna reach out and thank you for posting what you do because most people don’t talk about … Read more...

Take Mental Illness and Suicide out of the Silos of Silence

My family suffered the triple stigma with our son – depression, addiction and death by suicide. Stigma can exist only in an environment where judgment and lack of education thrive. Which is precisely why we need to talk about them. Openly and without judgment.

I am stripping away the façade and hitting taboo subjects head on. The death of my son Charles Aubrey Rogers by suicide in June of 2015 taught me that.

Everybody has a story. Everybody has struggles. A visible success does not make any life perfect. And you know by now what can go on behind closed … Read more...

Top 10 posts in the last 6 weeks the emotionally naked blog

to 10 taboo posts

This is from April 16 until May 28. I started the blog at the very end of January.

Here is the list from last time.

These are ranked by the number of visits from Google analytics so it’s basically your top ten.  I added a bonus #11 because although it’s Charles’ work which is important to me.

The one that ranks #1 is the one I thought no one would ever read or want to read. It was so cleansing for me to let go of it and not have it swirl around in my head all the time.

1.

… Read more...

Street Heart – #griefheart number 39

Street Heart
Street Heart

We went to the Westover Hills neighborhood picnic and I’m watching the kids play. I turn slightly to the left and there it was, staring me in the face in a big clearing calling my name.

I had been remembering how much Charles loved to play. Loved chalk, the bouncy thing, the balloons, the face painting. All of it. It’s way before he suffered from depression, felt suicidal, or succumbed to the lure of drug addiction. Back to a simpler time when a bad day was having your cake eaten by your dog. He refers to those days here in this song, Family Matters, … Read more...

Crying Heart – #griefheart number 38

#griefheart
Crying Heart

The shower is the best place to cry. The good news is that I don’t cry everyday in the shower like I once did.

Sometimes I just have nice memories in the shower. But when I really want to let loose, I do it here most of the time. It might hurt like crazy but I let it all hang out and it feels good to do so. I often feel better after. You moms who’ve lost a child know what I mean, don’t you? The car and the shower.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my … Read more...

Market Heart – #griefheart number 36

#griefheart
Market Heart

Charles would have loved our new neighborhood. Sadly, he died by suicide just 4 days after we sold the house. He did not even know where we were going to be living.

And the Farmer’s Market? He would have adored it. All that hustle and bustle. All the people and the buzz. Charles loved to be surrounded by people–the more the better. So when we went today, I thought about that, pictured him eating one of those giant home made donuts that most of the market regulars worship. As I was thinking about just that, this t-shirt met … Read more...

Should you let your teen smoke pot at home?

No. And they shouldn’t be drinking in your basement either.

I remember when we caught Charles with marijuana. He insisted he needed it to sleep and to quiet his anxiety. It had been so tough up until then to figure a treatment plan for him.

We said no after listening to his argument and we were firm but we actually did think about it. Trying to find the right medication to help your child is very difficult. So difficult you actually consider things that later you realize is nuts.

There is stigma with medication for mental health even though some kids need it … Read more...

Heart of Gold – #griefheart number 31

Heart of Gold
Heart of Gold

Charles had a heart of gold. Yes, he suffered from depression. Ultimately succumbed to an addiction to heroin and died by suicide.

But the person underneath the illness of addiction was a sweet, thoughtful person who cared about others. My sweetheart of a child was imperfect. He was stubborn. He was his own person. I do wish he was here with me. But I’ll have to carry him in my own heart instead.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart … Read more...

I know what will wipe out mental health stigma

In 2 years, stigma for mental health and addiction will be a thing of the past
In two years, stigma for mental health and addiction will be a thing of the past

More people are speaking out–Suicide survivors, suicide loss survivors, overdose survivors, those who suffer with mental illness.

Parents are motivated to seek help and are risking the fallout of reaching out because the risk of losing their child outweighs their fear of living with shame.

Then there is the awareness, rising suicide rates, media coverage and the opiate epidemic which has cut across all racial and socioeconomic groups including politicians.

All of this works in tandem together to raise awareness and educate millions.

But that’s just part of

… Read more...

Dear Heroin, I F-ing HATE you!

You are the sorriest, most vicious, demonic son of a bitch in the world.

You took over my child at his most vulnerable and you lured him into your lair of deceit. Then wrapped your evil talons around him, leaked into his brain and never let go until he was dead.

You told him that he was the greatest human being in the world–and then the most worthless. You ostracized him from his family and his friends and made him do things he would not ever have done without your influence.

You made him lie, cheat and steal for you. You made him … Read more...

Drug addiction is like a diet. Sort of

I know recovery from addiction is far more difficult with a much higher price tag than a diet. But there are similarities from my point of view.

Think about it. You go on a diet and you cut things out that you identify as the culprits to being overweight.

You might deny yourself chocolate, for example.

But at some point, your resolve starts to wear away and you crave chocolate. It’s ALL you can think about. You dream chocolate.

After several weeks of denying yourself this treat, you have a little

A week later, you lose it, break down and binge on chocolate.… Read more...

Addiction: The broken reward system

reward

I went to the COBE event at VCU, Virginia Commonwealth University and saw Dr. Kevin McCauley speak (the dude seriously needs a decent online bio).

For many years, Charles and I had a discussion about his “thrill seeking” which I never felt was quite the right phrase since he wasn’t skiing backwards down black diamond ski slopes.

At one point Charles and I had a discussion that perhaps his brain didn’t make endorphins and made too much adrenalin (since he suffered from anxiety).

When Dr. McCauley said “broken reward system” in his presentation, I thought I hit the lottery. That’s the … Read more...

Do you really know the signs of heroin use?

image.adapt.480.low.Heroin_addiction_gateway-4

I didn’t. There is something called the “nod” where someone using heroin will nod off.

Sometimes an addict will sleep 24 hours straight due to heroin being laced with Xanax. In many areas now, they lace heroin with (fentanyl). Last drug test I gave my son indicated multiple drugs mixed in there, at least 9 out of the 12-panel tested on the screening test.

After using the drug, the addicted person has upset stomach, diarrhea and vomiting.

Heroin is snorted or injected so you might not be aware your son or daughter, husband or wife is using for quite a while. Typically, … Read more...