The day after

charles-post

I remember waking up. Then dreading that I woke up and reality hitting me like ice water in the face.

My child is dead. I am the mother of child who killed himself. I actually feel as if I am in someone else’s skin because it feels so foreign and prickly. I just want to slide out of ...  read more

So much grief – #griefheart number 95

So much grief
So much grief

From the Orlando night club shooting to the siege and beheadings of foreigners in Bangladesh to sniper shootings in Dallas and the terror attack in France, we have seen many brutal and shocking tragedies in the last 33 days. So much senseless loss. And for what?

While we don’t know how to ...  read more

Frozen heart – #griefheart number 94

Frozen heart
Frozen heart

Today was one of those days where my heart just felt frozen in place–sort of like I was just existing, treading water, going nowhere. It’s one of those days where I question everything I’m doing and just wonder if any of what I want to happen will come to be. I just felt stuck.

It’s ...  read more

Friends speaking at Charles’ memorial service Part 2

From theatre friends to Anne Moss’ friends, more stories about Charles at his memorial service after he died by suicide. Part 1 is here.

It took me a year to post all these and be able to watch them. I am very thankful to have them and for all the people that stood up and spoke in front of everyone ...  read more

Charming hearts – #griefheart number 93

many-hearts
Charming hearts

These little heart charms from my friend Carole in Fayetteville. They are so cute–all unique and different. Part of Charles’ charm was his eccentricity, his love of people, family and friends. Then there was his sense of humor, his amazing timing, his writing and undeniable creativity ...  read more

Friends speaking at Charles’ memorial service Part 1

It took me one year and a month to post these. Thank you Wendy Holt for grabbing a camera that day and filming or I wouldn’t have them. My brain was still too fried and in shock to think of anything other than trying to make it through the day.

People gathered around Charles like a moth to a flame. I feel like I lost a son and I feel like I have lost Elvis. He was that on-the-spot talented. He could make up a rap song in an instant to cheer someone up or a joke that would bring you to tears it was so funny. So surprising that someone who spread so much joy suffered so much and died by suicide.

I have not watched them since the service. Too heartbreaking. But I have now and they are so special. As Charles said in one of his songs, “So may tears, I could sit in a bath.”

Kevin was first and the idea to video had not occurred to us so not all of his is recorded. I’m not complaining.

I will post Part 2 tomorrow.

Kevin McGrath

From Kevin, “I don’t think I’m ever going to meet a person like him again.” The song Kevin references by Jay Skinner is here.

Ceanna Fisher

Junior mints and movies.

Alex Morganti

Picking up my new friend Charles, dressed as a dragon.

Robert Moss

“One of the most eccentric people I ever knew and the most talented. His love and compassion for his family, friends and music is unmatched.”

Daniel Latham

Inviting himself over.

Sam Smith

“Everyone was always so fascinated by him…One of the most caring people I ever met.” Charles and the broken nose.

Get updates to this blog by subscribing

Piece of my heart – #griefheart number 92

piece-of-my-heart-missing

I will heal and I will move forward but a piece of my heart will always be missing.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Thinking of you heart – #griefheart number 91

Thinking of you heart
Thinking of you heart

Just because the hearts I get are not always in the horizontal format, I wanted to acknowledge the thoughtfulness.

So I combined them so they fit. Lovely that I have all of you seeing hearts everywhere you turn. Like me.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Ask your oral surgeon to stop prescribing oxycodone for teen wisdom teeth removal

And parents please stop asking for it.

Seven percent of patients prescribed narcotic or opioid analgesics will become addicted.* Some statistics put it as high as 10%. Still others will abuse it or sell it. Do you want that to be your kid?

If you’ve never had an opiate, percocet, oxycodone ...  read more

Door to my heart – #griefheart number 90

door-to-my=heart
Door to my heart

When I started this project, I let everyone in the door of my heart. Losing a child by suicide is a tough journey and not one I thought many would tune in for.

I am so grateful for all the love and support, the shares and the gift of your hearts.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing