Worthless

“Tough times never last, but tough people do.” –Robert Schuller

There are times during this grief journey that I feel small and worthless. I don’t normally suffer from lack of self esteem so the intensity of this feeling is foreign to me.

Not that I have never felt ...  read more

Spotlight heart – #griefheart number 105

Spotlight heart
Spotlight heart

Charles suffered from anxiety but never on stage. He was as comfortable and natural on the stage as any seasoned actor. Charles had the innate gift of timing. You can’t teach that. He always had the audience’s attention. And no one I have ever seen could capture a crowd like he could.

It’s ...  read more

Facebook LIVE- Let’s Talk about it #2

Date: Sunday, August 14
Time: 6:30-7pm
Where: My facebook page

Schedule of Events is here

Topic: De-stigmatizing Antidepressants–Once Again

In looking over the comments from the last Facebook LIVE, I saw that there was a lot of misunderstanding as it relates to antidepressants and other mental health medications. Given that the suicide rates have dramatically ...  read more

Joshua’s Seagull Heart – #griefheart number 104

Joshua's heart
Joshua’s seagull heart

This #griefheart is in honor of Joshua Hasnas who died by suicide in 2008.

From Joshua’s mother, Rachelle Hasnas: Bipolar Disorder isn’t “pretty.” To Fly Again- Portrait of a BIPOLAR Life, a memoir I wrote for my son Joshua, isn’t pretty either. What you get is what bipolar disorder ...  read more

Talk20 video on my story of suicide loss and the #griefheart project


Talk20 in Richmond VA invited me to speak on the topic of losing my son Charles Rogers, 20, to suicide in June of 2015 ...  read more

How did we discover Charles was addicted to heroin?

You’d think after 4.5 years in a family drug support group I’d have zoned right in on the fact that Charles was addicted to heroin.

So if we didn’t figure it out, how did we find out?

Charles stole silver, the sterling I inherited from my family. And he stole Randy’s silver coins ...  read more

Broken heart – #griefheart number 103

perfect-pitch-heart

A friend of mine, Charlotte, dropped this vase and look what it made. She, too, lost a child to suicide. Message in a vase?

Suicide shatters your life. You do pick up the pieces as best you can and move forward. But your heart is never the same and you have to figure out how to live with that hurt and still find joy.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Forgiving myself

Thanks for participation in Facebook Live

We had a good discussion last night. Xfinity was out in our neighborhood and lack of wifi had me scrambling. Some weren’t quite sure how to activate the sound. But we worked through that and lots of good info on the thread. Apparently you have to double click the video for sound and sometimes there is a delay.

I’ll schedule one in another two weeks. Will choose a subject and give everyone time to prepare comments or questions for the group. And I’ll archive them on a page on this site for reference.

There were moms and dads of active addicts, kids in jail with possession charges, recovered addicts and those who lost children by suicide or overdose. There were those who suffer mental illness and parents with kids suffering from mental illness. I don’t think I’ve seen a mix this varied which meant we got a lot of information from many sides of the equation.

The video is posted below in case you want to see it: Like I said, it’s a lumpy start but everyone was very patient and I have an idea of what the format is now.

I was hoping for 20 and 275 logged in. So many of you shared your comments and wisdom and I am so grateful for that as well as your support.

Two people I know in recovery gave their side of things. Also very helpful and offered others so much hope. I am sure others in recovery were out there, too. Proud of you guys.

Glen Singer has spent his career at therapeutic boarding schools and has the benefit of observing behavior of hundreds of teens.

Moms like Laurie and Reid who who lost their sons to overdose tuned in to share. Despite their loss, they give back and continue to educate. It helps to hear about kids other than Charles to see similarities and differences. They had some amazing things to say which are on the comments. Let’s give a shout out to these moms in memory of their sons, Dawson Petit and Josh Kaski.

First “Let’s Talk About It” Facebook Live Video

This one was more focused on drug abuse and addiction and dual diagnosis.

Subscribe to this blog

Screen Shot 2016-07-24 at 11.53.44 PM

Peter Pan Heart – #griefheart number 102

Peter Pan heart
Peter Pan heart

 

In Charles’ obituary, I referenced the fact that he was Peter Pan hence the inspiration behind this #griefheart.

“…A deep, soulful, passionate and sensitive young man, Charles loved and treasured family. He was a true artist, an off-the-cuff comedian who loved to rap, entertain and act. He loved dogs, funky socks, drama, writing and making people laugh. But most of all, he loved people.

As many artists do, Charles lived life on his own terms and ultimately chose how he wanted to end it. He lit up every room he ever walked into. But he also struggled and is now at peace. He was one of a kind, a true non-conformist. Charles Rogers was Peter Pan. He was just never meant to grow up.”

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Art heart – #griefheart number 101

3-d-heart
I commissioned this artwork in a shadowbox to feature Charles’ words.

From the artist, Summer DeCoste: This has various labors of thought. The brokenness, yet the thoughtful love he had. The straight pins…the pain in his addiction.

The love in his heart for his family and the spaces in between that mentally he could not piece together. But in all of this he loved you and I hope you realize that you could not fix those pieces. You did the best you could as a loving parent.

It doesn’t mean he was bad or that he wanted to hurt himself or hurt you. I truly believe that reading his thoughts that he did try to “get it.”

This photo shows the shadowing that will happen depending on your lighting where you’ll place it. I ended up using words from both “Family Matters” as well as “Diary of a Broken Mind” and made a collage of sorts.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing