Worn out heart – #griefheart number 176

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Grief can wear you out. There are some days it just uses up everything you have and it drains you of color. It’s during those times you have to remember that there are days your heart is bursting and you feel light as a feather.

This one from a new friend, Elizabeth. I met her on the Out of the Darkness walk for suicide prevention and she works for the organization. We outfitted her with a t-shirt and adopted her right away on Team Charles.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #… Read more...

Pumpkin heart – #griefheart number 175

I had planned to carve a heart and do a candle and take a picture at night. That’s sort of the “honor someone that died by suicide” tradition. I just did not have it in me tonight.

Halloween was Charles’ single most favorite day of the year. He loved the dressing up, the candy, the excitement. At 19, Charles went trick or treating. No one would go with him but he didn’t care.  I believe he loved it more than his birthday if that is possible.

It was a hard day butI enjoyed seeing all the kids in the neighborhood … Read more...

Overnight, my life changed. So where am I headed?

compassWhen I heard the words, “He hung himself,” my life changed forever. I didn’t even know I could change so fast. But it was overnight.

It took me a while to figure out what to do. I have been in advertising and marketing for two decades starting with a small agency for 6 months and then the Martin Agency.

I’ve been in digital marketing since 1995 when Google was a blinking cursor on a black screen.

I have been a co-owner at Impression Marketing since 2010 when I teamed up with Howard Deskin, my amazing business partner. I have always … Read more...

Painful love – #griefheart number 174

Leigh Morgan Rogers and I grew up together in NC. She has been a huge supporter of my mission here and I so appreciate that. I love how all of you have started to participate in this project.

“Hello, Anne Moss – My husband and I just got back from a trip to Arizona to celebrate our anniversary….I spotted this Prickly Pear and immediately thought of you.  It reminded me of how love is the most beautiful thing here on this earth, but it’s also risky.  You become vulnerable to pain. 

I’ve not experienced the pain you have, but I Read more...

You are great parents

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You have a child who is abusing or addicted to drugs. You have reached the end of your rope and your wallet. Your own health is declining and your emotional health is waning.

Your life is in chaos

You’ve dropped everything to run to the rescue multiple times.

You want to fix this.

This one is for the parents who have tried to help, have done everything, only to realize that nothing you have done has helped change your child’s behavior.

You are used up and you have decided to let go.

This is the hardest place in the world

Read more...

Heart of tissue – #griefheart number 173

My friend Bethany sent me this and said, “Teddy was tearing up paper randomly and I looked down and found one that looked like a heart.”

Bethany is a nanny for Teddy and it so happens she is currently grieving the loss of a boyfriend who died of an overdose. My son Charles died by suicide. She and I are both well acquainted with those heavy waves of despair that come with having loved someone and lost them.

Neither of us is a stranger to tissues.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #… Read more...

We sold a car for a hug

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Conner

Richard, my oldest, originally got this hand-me-down car from my Dad. It’s a 1999 Toyota Avalon with 120,000 miles on it. Top of the line in 1999.

Richard dropped it off for inspection when he drove up from NC and the amount of work needed to be done exceeded the value of the car. He was crestfallen. He loved that car. The mechanic suggested selling it on Craigslist for parts as the engine would be worth something.

When my friend Julie generously offered to sell us her 2008 Nissan Altima with 115,000 miles for a song, we couldn’t see … Read more...

Island heart – #griefheart number 172

This one sent to me by Pixie. If you look closely at the trees, you’ll see the heart in there. Tucked away in the trees. Isolated and lost. A suicide loss often leaves you feeling that way. If you let it take you down, it will. If you suffer in silence, it will smother you.

We can honor our loved ones that died by suicide and their struggles. We can talk about them and remember them. Even after the greatest loss of my life, my son’s suicide, I do believe those who are suffering can find hope and healing. Mental … Read more...

Going all geeky on you

From February 1, 2016 – October 24, 2016

With your help, the posts on this blog have reached hundreds of thousands since February 1, 2016. There are some backdated posts I entered in here from Facebook prior to that date but 02/1/2016 is when I launched it.

I get messages, letters, phone calls and I do know at least 11 people have literally reached out for treatment for addiction, mental illness and suicidal thoughts. I don’t know how many others.

Countless other parents and young adults have found a support group for grief, mental illness or addiction on our … Read more...

Bandaged heart – #griefheart number 171

I saw this at CVS today and it made me think of how my heart is bandaged together, how some days I am just holding it together since Charles’ suicide.

On this particular trip to the drugstore, I see a young African American man holding a baby girl about 6 weeks old. She is scrunched up and cuddled on her daddy’s chest sleeping while he is picking up a couple of items.

While I am standing in line, I can see him outside the window as he puts his bag in the car and takes a selfie of the baby … Read more...