Hold you in my heart till I hold you in heaven – #griefheart 126

Hold you in my heart till I hold you in heaven
Hold you in my heart till I hold you in heaven

Dear Charles- I rather you were here with me. But you are not. So I have no other choice. You suffered more than I thought you did.  I wish I could have helped.

All those years of worrying about what would happen to you, and your worst enemy was inside you. How can a mother know to protect her son read more

Cal’s Song – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

The irony in this rap song is downright eerie. And the bullying Cal endured ate at Charles.

Cal died by suicide almost exactly 2 years to the day before Charles did and by the same method. I don’t think Charles’ death was in any way a copycat. Charles wrote two songs that I have but read more

Facebook LIVE Promo: Stopping the faucet of prescription medications

This is the actual video here

What can we do to prevent new addictions? A lot more than we are doing.

According to the CDC, “Opioid prescribing continues to fuel the epidemic. Today, at least half of all U.S. opioid read more

Rock solid heart – #griefheart 126

Rock solid heart
Rock solid heart

I’ll be holding you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms again.

This sent to me by my friend Melissa. Someone close to her sent it when she was having a difficult time. And she sent it to me for the same reason. Every day is a tough day still since Charles’ suicide. Thank you guys read more

From where I do I draw my strength?

pray for the strength to endure life's challengesI have been asked this question several times since Charles’ death. As a result, it’s been on my mind because I know that others not in this club must wonder how we go on.

I have had many near death experiences that I have mentioned before–a broken neck, an attempted rape and read more

Sunset heart – #griefheart 125

Sunset heart
Sunset heart

Do you see it? In the sky and in the water. This was sent to me by my friend Jennifer. She saw it, snapped it, sent it!

After a sunset there is a sunrise. The ocean still comes in and goes out. Life goes on. The hard part about grief is that with each passing day, you are further from when your loved read more

Back to school heart – #griefheart 124

Back to school heart
Back to school heart

Seeing all the back to school supplies including this pencil pouch brings the ache of a life event missed since Charles’ suicide. I won’t ever see him go to college like his friends or graduate.

I am happy his friends are going back and will soon graduate. But I also ache.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my read more

Before and After

Ever since my son Charles died by suicide in June of 2015, I categorize everything as either before his death or after.

His death literally split my life in two and I am forever changed.

I still instinctively scan family photos taken after his death looking for him.

Read more at The Gift of the Second

Angel Devil heart – #griefheart 123

Angel devil heart
Angel devil heart

I remember when Charles picked this shirt out. It remember him in it. Charles always felt he had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. I see a lot of angel/devil/demon references in his music.

Drugs were definitely a demon and made him feel as such. He hated himself for what they made read more

Sunny side up heart – #griefheart 122

sharing-a-heart

You can find one in the sky,
You can form one out of rocks,
You mold one out of play dough,
You can shape one out of socks.
You can make one out of buttons,
You can stamp one in the snow,
You can fill today with
hearts everywhere you go!

Thank you for sharing your heart–Mary-ellen

(Mary-ellen read more