Join us in Richmond VA for Out of the Darkness Walk #suicideprevention, #TeamCharlesRVA

AFSP Out of the Darkness Team Charles 2017 is here.

Join Team Charles for the AFSP (American Foundation of Suicide Prevention) for the Out of the Darkness walk on September 17, 2016.

If you can’t walk, consider a donation. Any amount is fine.

Charles Rogers was my son that died by suicide June read more

Poker heart – #griefheart number 121

card-heart

Charles loved games and he loved to play poker, too. He liked to play it with real money. Not big dollars but quarters and singles probably because that’s what he had.

He was a risk taker and a good strategist. For a kid with ADHD, he could play a game nonstop.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart read more

She’s just trying to get attention

attentionseek

“She took all those pills just to get attention.”

“You know that phone call was just a cry for help.”

I have heard these phrases frequently as it relates to suicide attempts over the last few years.

Please never make the mistake of writing off a suicide attempt as “attention read more

Forever in our heart – #griefheart number 120

dawson-in-our-hearts
Forever in our heart

I love this poem and I love how the angel is right next to the heart.

Don’t ever think you can’t talk about your child or honor his struggle because he died from overdose or by suicide. Addiction is an illness. Depression is an illness.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all # read more

Sad sack heart – #griefheart number 119

bag-heart

label
Bag label

This is the brown bag that contains the clothing Charles was wearing when he died by suicide. What do you do with something like this? I still don’t know.

So I just leave them in a bag in a box in the closet. I do take the bag out and hug it every once in a while. I also hug his backpack read more

Pearly gate heart – #griefheart number 118

gate-heart
Pearly gate heart

I wonder about the other side. Where Charles’ soul is now. I know he is at peace and no longer struggling. I am, of course and I wish he had told me how much he hurt.

My friend MaryJo sent this one. My dear friends supporting me and this project. Adding their hearts to mine.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart read more

Would I do it all over again?

“Let go, emotions flow, let it show and dissipate
This world is crushing me but I lift the weight
Look at star with a different face you’ll see tomorrow
The world will be a better place”
–Charles Aubrey Rogers, 1995-2015

Would I spend the money that we spent, upwards of $250k, read more

Rocky road heart – #griefheart number 117

rock-heart

This whole grief process is one rocky road. Highs. Lows. Lots more lows.

It’s not a perfect process. At the beginning, I looked at the stages of grief all neatly laid out. But it’s more like a tangled mess of emotions that go back and forth, up and down, sideways and upside down–particularly read more

Arrow through the heart – #griefheart number 116

Arrow through the heart
Arrow through the heart

This is how my grief feels sometimes. Pretty self explanatory.

I no longer wonder how long it will go on or when it will stop. It just is and I go with the flow. I wake up each morning and reflect on what I am thankful for. If I thought about all that was wrong, I likely wouldn’t get out of read more