Eternal Love – #griefheart 74

Eternal love

Charles may have died but my love for him never will.  It burns eternal in my soul.

From Charles:

“So play this when your day is gray when hope is dim
When happiness is growing slim
Listen to me rap then reverse the grim
Burn the hurt, let my words do the work”

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart read more

Bizarre heart – #griefheart 73

Bizarre Heart
Bizarre Heart

Charles loved the bizarre. The odder it was, the better. From the jokes he told to the raps he wrote, he saw the world from a unique viewpoint. Which is what made him so special.

I have to wonder about the artist that created this. Nobody normal cooks up an iron pig with a heart, right? Just the read more

Holding onto hope heart – #griefheart 72

Holding onto hope heart
Holding onto hope heart

Even though I’ve suffered the most devastating loss of my life, I can never lose hope. And for those who suffer suicidal thoughts, or have a loved one who does, please don’t let that last shred of hope ever escape.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all # read more

Saturday Charles

Charles sent this to a friend while in detox
Charles sent this to a friend while in detox

Charles wasn’t living at home at the time of his suicide.

Not because we had thrown him out or asked to leave the house due to his drug use. He had been stealing from us (almost all my silver was gone) and we sent him to his read more

Stop the pain in my heart – #griefheart 71

Stop the pain in my heart
Stop the pain in my heart

There are times I feel boxed in a room with no exit– the hurt and ache surrounding me so completely I can’t breathe. I don’t even want to move. How long does this last? When will it stop? Make it stop!

Even now, I have that same feeling of wanting to escape, of feeling smothered read more

Father’s Day heart – #griefheart 70

Father's Day Heart
Father’s Day Heart

Whether it’s a healthcare related death, an overdose death or a suicide, this #griefheart is dedicated to the Dads who are grieving the loss of a child.

You may also be celebrating with other children, your own Dad but you read more

My birthday heart – #griefheart 69

My birthday heart
My birthday heart

Today is my birthday. Richard came home but of course Charles is only here in spirit. Miss my boy who died by suicide a lot today.

Thank you for all the notes, texts and calls. I was so happy to see my friend who is incarcerated today. When he walked in the pod I burst into tears because it was such read more

Stormy heart – #griefheart 68

Stormy heart
Stormy heart

So my cousin Lee Anne and I are coming back from after lunch today and both of our necks snap as we spot this off in the distance.

This tree is all split all up from the violent thunderstorm last night–large tree limbs everywhere. She and I spotted this from the car off in the distance at read more

Relive the love – #griefheart 67


When you lose someone you love to suicide, you want a replay, to go back and try again. Just one more chance. Just one more hug. Your heart replays the scenarios over and over until it hurts. As time goes on, you forgive yourself more but sometimes relapse to the replay.

Life has no reverse or read more