Lyrical Heart -#griefheart number 40

Word heart
Lyrical heart

Charles had a way with words. From stories he wrote to songs he rapped, he was something else with a pen. This was his way of coping as it is mine.

He would take these magnet words and make the funniest sentences that only Charles could think of. He was master of funny. Such a creative genius.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain read more

This is what I live for. It doesn’t get better than this

It’s letters like these that make my life worth living since Charles’ suicide. Warning. It will make you cry. A good cry. It is so thoughtful and well written. If the author is out there, thank you. This truly defines my purpose. I have removed read more

Street Heart – #griefheart number 39

Street Heart
Street Heart

We went to the Westover Hills neighborhood picnic and I’m watching the kids play. I turn slightly to the left and there it was, staring me in the face in a big clearing calling my name.

I had been remembering how much Charles loved to play. Loved chalk, the bouncy thing, the balloons, the read more

Crying Heart – #griefheart number 38

#griefheart
Crying Heart

The shower is the best place to cry. The good news is that I don’t cry everyday in the shower like I once did.

Sometimes I just have nice memories in the shower. But when I really want to let loose, I do it here most of the time. It might hurt like crazy but I let it all hang out and it feels read more

The final 48 hours

Charles, who suffered from anxiety and depression and ultimately addiction had been from detox to rehab to a sober house. After rehab he looked great. I call this “Saturday Charles.” He then went to the sober house but relapsed the next morning by walking downtown and buying heroin. read more

Grieving Beauty – #griefheart number 37

37-grieving-beauty
Grieving Beauty

“Weave the unveiling fabric of God’s word through your heart and mind. It will hold strong, even if the rest of life unravels.” –Gigi Graham Tchividjian

quote-leftWhen I lost my brother, Matt Geary, to suicide four years ago, it felt like life had unraveled. The grief process has been like read more

Market Heart – #griefheart number 36

#griefheart
Market Heart

Charles would have loved our new neighborhood. Sadly, he died by suicide just 4 days after we sold the house. He did not even know where we were going to be living.

And the Farmer’s Market? He would have adored it. All that hustle and bustle. All the people and the buzz. Charles loved to be surrounded read more

Should you let your teen smoke pot at home?

No. And they shouldn’t be drinking in your basement either.

I remember when we caught Charles with marijuana. He insisted he needed it to sleep and to quiet his anxiety. It had been so tough up until then to figure a treatment plan for him.

We said no after listening to his argument and we were read more

Personal Heart – #griefheart number 33

33-journey-heart
Personal Heart

Your grief journey is as individual as you are which is why this one is made of fingerprints. There is no timeline and everyone hits different stages at their own pace. There is no rushing it. It has a mind of its own. You can do things to find peace and joy but for the most part, you are along for read more

Fractured Heart – #griefheart number 32

#griefheart
Fractured Heart

This #griefheart is in honor of Stephen B Sandknop, March 25, 1983-October 28, 2013. He was in a relapse from methamphetamine addiction and was having psychotic episodes and died by suicide when he jumped off his own apartment building in Hollywood, CA during a phone conversation with his mother, read more