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What am I grateful for? Day #14

Sounds can be very soothing and bring moments of peace. Today’s grateful post is the sound of a brook that feeds into the James River by the lake at Forest Hill Park.

The sound of running water is something for which I am grateful on day #14 of the #thegratitudeproject.

What are you grateful for today?

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What am I grateful for? Day #13

We’ve been playing Scattegories. Not the actual board game. We found an online version and we use notepads.

This got started as a new tradition after the death of my son, Charles, by suicide. He loved games. So we make an effort to play one in his memory to bring the family together and create a new tradition. I’m grateful for the fun, laughter, and connection that my younger son has inspired in his memory.

A game with the family is something for which I am grateful on day #13 of the #thegratitudeproject.

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What am I grateful for? Day #12

It took me about a half hour to dress to walk today because it was 19 degrees Fahrenheit. With the wind chill factor, it was 5 degrees. Thank goodness for old ski clothes. because that is cold for this Southern girl.

This little husky pup was waiting for me. Now I don’t normally pet strange dogs but this one and I go back a ways. He greeted me, anxiously expecting some attention which I gladly gave. I didn’t see many people or dogs today because saner folks were staying indoors where it was warm. But there was sun and I … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #11

It rained all day today. But instead of staying inside, I went out in it. I put on my raincoat, rain pants, boots, and umbrella. That’s my umbrella in the photo. It’s the kind that doesn’t drip on you when you fold it up.

I am not going to say I love dark, dreary rainy days. But they sure do help me appreciate the sunny beautiful ones.

We do get a good amount of rain. It’s not too much but there are so many areas now that are drought-stricken. So our plants are nourished and our water is not restricted. … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #10

As hard as this time of year can be from the standpoint of loss, once I get closer to the actual day, I zone out and enjoy some downtime. This year I’m not putting on the big spread and that leaves me with a bit more chill time to relax and just stop going, going. going. It feels good.

That’s my feet in the photo above covered with a blanket. Because this is one lazy picture. No judging. I’m chillaxing.

Some downtime at the end of the year is something for which I am grateful on day #10 of the … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #9

Love flew in from Los Angeles and we picked up my oldest son, Richard, from Dulles airport in Washington DC. That’s a 4.5-5 hour round trip and totally worth it. This is a late-night photo.

This is the kid who just weeks after college graduations said, “You are great parents…” 5 minutes into our breaking the news about his brother’s death by suicide.” He said more than that and you can read all about that here in this post.

No one else could have said anything that would have mattered more than that statement did on the absolute worst … Read more...

Connections with Tavia Avila and The McClish — 12/18/2022

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I tell some stories I’ve not told before in this radio show. We talked a lot about the link between addiction and suicide. It’s an hour. And you can take us on your walk.

Charles’ personality was so big
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What am I grateful for? Day #8

I love college basketball and always have. My team is the UNC Tarheels and I was watching games starting at the age of three.

My family would gather around the TV watching, yelling, and jumping up and down together. I watched with friends, my Episcopal Young Churchman group, college chums. Earlier in 2022 when my mom was still alive, we enjoyed the game still together when I would visit. Or we’d chat after a really good one and go over the assists, the three point shots, the defense, or ball handling and steals.

UNC was where I dreamed of going … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #7

Sleep.

I’m so tired I can’t even fully express how grateful I am it’s close to bedtime and I can pack in some restorative z’s. So this one is super short. It was the number one activity I focused on after my son died. A good night’s sleep is the foundation of healing,

The gift of a good night’s sleep is one for which I am truly grateful on day #7 of the #thegratitudeproject.

What are you grateful for today?

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What am I grateful for? Day #6

We started as a book club and became a group of moms going through child-rearing, jobs, teenage issues, and more. Decades later, there is more dancing and talking than book club activities but we always have fun together.

These were the people with whom I confided that my son, Charles, was doing drugs, eventually addicted to drugs, and whom I called right after he killed himself. To say we’ve been through a lot together would not really come close to the love and support I find with these ladies.

This gift of friendship is one for which I am truly … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #5

grateful for good lettuce

I remember sitting at a dinner party hosted by a neighbor, one of whom is my walking buddy. The first course was a salad. As I was eating the salad, I noticed that it melted in my mouth it was so tender. So I asked the host and cook, Neil, where he got it. He said, “I grow it in my basement.” “In this house?” I asked.

He has a whole hydroponic system down there with lighting and watering systems. It’s a self-sustainable scientific wonder and produces the tastiest, tenderest heads of lettuce.

Now those who know me know my … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #4

Anne Moss and the students from Cosby High School

I led a “Make Friends with Anxiety” workshop at Cosby High School in Midlothian, Virginia. We had some tears and a lot of laughter. This is where my sons went to school. The highlight for me was the game, “Name one thing you wish your parents knew about you.” The answers were so honest.

The throwing sound game was fun, too. Because there was so much laughter. I’m grateful that I get to go back, work with the high school kids, open up conversations about mental health topics, and see the … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #3

Today I am grateful for being sent new photos of Charles I had never seen before. I know they are not smiling pics but it doesn’t matter. It shows his melancholy side, that which he rarely revealed to us. I discovered these on an old device so they are intimate photos I don’t think anyone else ever saw.

Once I posted one of these new photos and stated how parents who’ve lost a child are so thrilled to get any new photos, it reminded an old neighbor to share photos of Charles on a fishing trip with his brother and … Read more...

What am I grateful for? Day #2

This is a picture of my husband chopping up vegetables for dinner. He is cooking dinner like he does most nights. I probably cook the late-day meal maybe 2-3 times a month.

All the years I did make dinner for my family, I can’t say I relished the task. And then….my husband decided it calmed him and declared himself the family chef. Then he got good at it.

This, my friends, is definitely a gift for which I am eternally grateful on day #2 of the #thegratefulproject. What are you grateful for today?

An 11-year-old writes a letter after
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What am I grateful for?

Sometimes it all piles up, and I need to step back and think of coping strategies to reset my brain which is hyper-focused on the negative aspects of what’s going on in my life, shutting out what’s good. I call this the “oh woes me” brain and it can get stuck like a needle on a vinyl record listing a litany of sorry stuff that’s happening.

I have been underwater for the last few months with so many things not going in the direction I want. For one, it’s the holidays. My first without my mom, my second without my … Read more...