Whether you are chatting with friends or scrolling through social media, we’ve all paused and had that thought, “must be nice” in response to something someone else has or has posted. Maybe we have that same stab of jealousy when someone has a swanky car or an enviable handbag.
We tend to dive into this mindset when we are feeling low and have a hard time seeing anything great in our lives due to our current situation. (Which, by the way, is the worst time to be scrolling through social media.)
You get a feeling and then you “logic” your way out of believing your gut. Either from fear, denial, disbelief, or something else.
You don’t want to trust something so kumbaya.
So many times in my life, I allowed my brain to talk me out of what I knew to be true. At times the universe had to present hard and fast evidence for me to believe what was happening right under my nose while my gut had been telling me for days or months.
The most difficult episode was when I didn’t answer my son’s last phone call one … Read more...
Several years ago, the pain in my heart from losing my son Charles to suicide was so intense, I needed a way to manage the pain and lessen the suffering. This is a creative exploration of my grieving heart through pictures.
While it didn’t make the pain go away, it helped to have something to scan for daily. From this idea, the #griefheart project was born. That task alone really did give me purpose and meaning.
Here’s what I didn’t expect
Unexpected was the outpouring and sharing of hearts across … Read more...
We are often conditioned to look for the sad person when we think of depression. The above picture is what I saw, a happy-go-lucky kid with a revolving door of friends. When we finally got a depression diagnosis for Charles after a psychological evaluation I was shocked. I had thought about it but he did not seem to fit the criteria I had been reading. People rarely do.
They call it post-traumatic growth. I say that with a cringe. Because I didn’t accept this descriptor without denying it and pushing it away because I worried it sounded braggy.
Over the last two years, many have pointed out that I was more than a survivor at this point in my journey.
Post-traumatic growth (PTG) is a theory that explains transformation following trauma
This theory, developed in the mid-1990s by psychologists Richard Tedeschi, PhD, and Lawrence Calhoun, PhD, posits that people who endure psychological struggle following adversity can often see positive growth afterward.
This one has a whole different outcome, one that still has me in deep reflection months later. It wasn’t without twists and turns. It would be my stomach and my heart that took that journey.
Lisa: “Hey, im a 16 year old girl, im done living it’s too hard, and I don’t just want the pain to end i wanna die im so tired of being here. im planning on doing it this week. before you tell something ive already heard like ” it will get better ”
Grandparents from both sides arrived at our home the day after Charles died by suicide. I was underwater emotionally and I needed to offload some of that grief onto my loved ones who were ready to hold me up at a time when I didn’t know how to exist, move forward, or even think. It was such a relief to fall into their arms. I’m fortunate to have had both sets of grandparents at that point.
My dad’s mind was going and dementia had set in which in the long run would provide some cushion for his grief because he’d … Read more...
When I first messaged Leo, he revealed only an “L.” He first landed on this blog from a google search on how to kill himself. He was filled with despair and claimed he needed to get on the bus.
I had not ever heard anyone put it that way. I wonder now if it’s a French saying. In short, Leo was suicidal. For the record, my blog has never offered instructions on how to die but I do offer a listening ear and resources for those who want them.
Subscribe below by choosing “daily.” If you are on our email list, this list is separate and will auto-send daily posts that are published keeping you engaged with #thegratitudeproject. I have no idea how long I will do this. I just know I need it
We’ve been playing Scattegories. Not the actual board game. We found an online version and we use notepads.
This got started as a new tradition after the death of my son, Charles, by suicide. He loved games. So we make an effort to play one in his memory to bring the family together and create a new tradition. I’m grateful for the fun, laughter, and connection that my younger son has inspired in his memory.
It took me about a half hour to dress to walk today because it was 19 degrees Fahrenheit. With the wind chill factor, it was 5 degrees. Thank goodness for old ski clothes. because that is cold for this Southern girl.
This little husky pup was waiting for me. Now I don’t normally pet strange dogs but this one and I go back a ways. He greeted me, anxiously expecting some attention which I gladly gave. I didn’t see many people or dogs today because saner folks were staying indoors where it was warm. But there was sun and I … Read more...