Boardwalk Love – #griefheart number 49

49-heart

Shortly after Charles’ suicide, someone carved or wrote this on the dock at the pavilion at Woodlake in Midlothian Va where Charles grew up. A mom snapped a photo and sent it to me. Sorry but I can’t remember who sent it. We had sold the house 4 days before he died and we had to move. My life at that point was such a blur. To whomever sent it, thank you.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

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To Charles: Letter to a Fellow Goon – by Jay Skinner

jay-and-charles
Jay Skinner and Charles in the production of Hairspray

I want to laugh
I’ve heard the news
(and I heard it was you)
So I’m waiting for the punchline

I’m stifling certain giggles until the curtain drops
and we take one last bow together;
Cracking on the lines we jumbled,
the cues we missed
(I’ve got a feeling there’s a big one I should have seen)

You are Charles
(I chew the name like bubblegum; sweet)
but life isn’t a stage, or even an act
You are no one’s son
no one’s brother
no one’s shadow

You are not adjectives, … Read more...

A video in memory of Charles Aubrey Rogers –by Adam Bloom

Adam Bloom, son of my oldest and best friend, put this together for Charles’ Memorial service in June of last year.

Thank you Adam for putting this together. I could have never managed to do it myself.

I love you and miss you, Charles. So much. Your mom is trying to find a life after your suicide.

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Unloved Heart – #griefheart number 48

#griefheart
Unloved Heart

I am always doing hearts about what Charles loved. But today, I’m doing one about something he did not love. And that’s broccoli and pretty much any food in the category of green unless it was a piece of candy.

We were cooking broccoli and we couldn’t help but laugh at the memory of all the ways Charles would make fun of broccoli. He couldn’t eat something that looked like trees.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by#griefheart category.

Read more...

When suicide seems to come from out of nowhere. Remembering Maggie Moyler

by Charlotte Moyler

Maggie Moyler, 17. This was taken 2 weeks before her suicide
Maggie Moyler, 17. This was taken 2 weeks before her suicide

Note from Anne Moss: Charlotte Moyler is a suicide loss survivor and founder of Suicide Loss Survivor Group in Williamsburg, VA. Until now, she had not gone public with her story.

—————–

We called her Pie, our little Magpie.

Born in January 1994 and adopted into our family when she was less that two days old. Maggie was an answered prayer and so much more! She was the daughter I longed for after 14 years of marriage. She was tiny and full of energy!

She … Read more...

Love from Pie – #griefheart number 47

Love from Pie
Love from Pie

This heart is in memory of Maggie Moyler who died by suicide at the age of 17 in 2011. Above is her signature.

I knew Maggie as a young child because the Moylers went to the same church we did in Midlothian. She was adorable–an absolute light. She looked like a child right out of a Gap ad and I thought the Moyler’s had the perfect family.

Years later, after Charles died by suicide in June 2015, Charlotte contacted me from their new home in Williamsburg and told me Maggie had died by suicide at 17. I had not … Read more...

Lipstick Heart – #griefheart number 46

Lipstick Heart
Lipstick Heart

This heart is to raise awareness for the 45% increase in suicide rates in females from 1999-2014.

Middle-aged women 45-64, had the highest suicide rate among women and the largest increase– a whopping 63%. For females 10-14 years old, the suicide rate increased threefold between 1999 and 2014, a particularly alarming statistic.

I believe lack of resources and lack of conversation regarding mental illness are just two of the reasons suicide has gotten this promotion. Chances are your children know someone at school who has either died by suicide, attempted suicide or talked about it.

Please have a conversation about suicide in your family. It … Read more...

Super Heart – #griefheart number 45

#griefheart
Super Heart

Charles loved super heroes. The “man of steel” was his favorite. All super heroes have some pain in their past and I think now he identified with that.

He was always intrigued with super powers and used to talk of mechanical hands and flying as late as eighth grade. I think he hoped a super power could fix him.  And maybe a super power did.

This S is for Suicide Awareness. Thank you all for helping me spread awareness of a subject cloaked in silence.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See … Read more...

Grief: Finding joy where I can, when I can

Totally embarrassing video below

When Richard, oldest son, was here for the Richmond Film Festival early in March, we got some time to spend together. (His film Cottonmouth got in the festival.)

One day I took him and his roommate out to lunch. While we sat there eating, Richard said, “Hey Mom, do you want to go to the screenings with us this afternoon?” I said,”Yes I can. No plans!”

Whatever plans I had, poof, they were gone. Fortunately I had taken the day off and cannot even remember what my plans might have been.

In the car before we … Read more...

Dragged through the mud – #griefheart number 44

43-dragged-thru-the-mud

It’s been a long time since I’ve made a mud pie. But I made one today. I do feel like I’ve had a grief relapse lately. When I’ve talked to other moms in this “club,” they tell me it’s the result of being close to the death anniversary of June 5. It’s my first so I didn’t know what to expect.

There is some comfort knowing where it’s coming from. It just feels like your heart has been dragged through the mud–sluggish and unmotivated. I just try to remind myself that grieving is healing.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my … Read more...