Suicide shirts that are not funny

Cannot believe Amazon is or was selling these shirts. I get that people have different brands of humor. But suicide jokes, humor making fun of those with disabilities or dwarf jokes is just not creative. It’s a cop out for those who lack the real skills to be creative. To a mom whose child died by hanging himself, this is a slap in the face. Add to that, it’s suggestive in a frightening way.… Read more...

You never stop missing the child you lost

I remember a trip I took to my grandmother’s when I was around 9 or 10 years old.

Usually, I’d stay in the room with twin beds with my grandmother when we visited and one morning I woke up and saw my grandmother standing up in front of her dresser crying and looking at a picture. Curious and worried, I asked my grandmother what was the matter. She told me that it was Lou Maddy’s birthday and she would have been 40 years old that day. I asked her who Lou Maddy was and she said she was her Read more...

This new year, take the taboo out of suicide by talking about it

Those of us who have lost a child CRAVE pictures and memories about our child more than ANYTHING in the world because it’s all we have. One of the things people will tell you is that once someone dies, you find out all these things about your loved one that you never knew and it makes you smile.

But I have to tell you that those of us who have lost a child by suicide from stigmatized illnesses like addiction and depression, just don’t hear as much. We hear a lot of silence, awkwardness and change of subject and we Read more...

Surviving the first holidays after my son’s suicide

So the grief is like a tidal wave. When it hits, it hits hard. It can last a day or about a day and a half. Or sometimes shorter. But over the holidays the periods have stretched back out. They had gotten shorter and I know they will again. It maybe my journey but I’m not always the captain of it.

After a big hit of grief, you can have a “grief hangover” where you just feel sort of lethargic and shell shocked but relieved that the worst of it is over. Then you have to kick your own butt … Read more...

Grief Dementia

The weird things about grief I never knew.

So both my husband and I are absent minded, we’re both losing everything we touch and forgetting what we wanted to say mid-sentence. I’m getting lost leaving my house and putting all kinds of engagements on the wrong day. Yesterday, I apparently had a lunch scheduled at 11:45pm and again on 11:45am Tuesday and 11:45am Wednesday with the same person. Tuesday was the right day but I had to email my lunch date to figure out which day and time was right. So logistically, I am all out of whack. Thank God … Read more...

Does grief have a silver lining?

There are actually good things about grief. Believe it or not. You realize along life’s path, you can only control one person, yourself. And in grief, you realize you can’t always do that. You have to let the journey lead you and there are times you simply can’t fix yourself but you can guide yourself.

In this journey that absolutely no one wants to be on, you simply see more things than you saw before, let things go that are not important and reach out and touch people you would have never thought to connect with. You also learn other … Read more...

Educating a child with mental health issues is a challenge

charles-aubrey-rogers-wasatch-academy

Those of you who have a child with special needs, mental health issues, learning or physical disabilities know how hard it is for that child to earn a high school degree. There are countless road blocks, problems, run ins with teachers over homework etc. Providing Charles with the support to finish high school was so difficult and expensive, it was a full time job in and of itself.

We enlisted the help of an educational consultant, Martha Kolbe who has since passed away. I would highly recommend that step. While we ultimately had to choose a boarding school, there … Read more...