Cal’s Song – by Charles Aubrey Rogers

The irony in this rap song is downright eerie. And the bullying Cal endured ate at Charles.

Cal died by suicide almost exactly 2 years to the day before Charles did and by the same method. I don’t think Charles’ death was in any way a copycat. Charles wrote two songs that I have but I am sure in his lost notebooks he had others about Cal.

In the history of the wilderness program he attended in Clayton, GA, no two kids from the same hometown, much less the same high school ended up in the same group. Charles and Read more...

Facebook LIVE Promo: Stopping the faucet of prescription medications

This is the actual video here

What can we do to prevent new addictions? A lot more than we are doing.

According to the CDC, “Opioid prescribing continues to fuel the epidemic. Today, at least half of all U.S. opioid overdose deaths involve a prescription opioid. In 2014, more than 14,000 people died from overdoses involving prescription opioids.”

Those numbers do not even include benzodiazepines and other drugs.

So who is responsible? Pharmaceutical companies, parents, patients, doctors, nurses, oral surgeons, drug dealers, judicial system, politicians and even dentists. And more.

We all like to blame the evil drug dealers. … Read more...

Rock solid heart – #griefheart 126

I’ll be holding you in my heart until I can hold you in my arms again.

This sent to me by my friend Melissa. Someone close to her sent it when she was having a difficult time. And she sent it to me for the same reason. Every day is a tough day still since Charles’ suicide. Thank you guys for reaching out. And those other moms out there in the same club, this is for you, too.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this … Read more...

From where I do I draw my strength?

pray for the strength to endure life's challengesI have been asked this question several times since Charles’ death. As a result, it’s been on my mind because I know that others not in this club must wonder how we go on.

I have had many near death experiences that I have mentioned before–a broken neck, an attempted rape and murder at knifepoint, a brain tumor, two brain surgeries and a near lightening strike.

I would have thought this would have groomed me for whatever came my way. The truth is it did not prepare me for watching my son self destruct and his ultimate suicide.

At my … Read more...

Sunset heart – #griefheart 125

Do you see it? In the sky and in the water. This was sent to me by my friend Jennifer. She saw it, snapped it, sent it!

After a sunset there is a sunrise. The ocean still comes in and goes out. Life goes on. The hard part about grief is that with each passing day, you are further from when your loved one was alive.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

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Back to school heart – #griefheart 124

Seeing all the back to school supplies including this pencil pouch brings the ache of a life event missed since Charles’ suicide. I won’t ever see him go to college like his friends or graduate.

I am happy his friends are going back and will soon graduate. But I also ache.

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Love & Lace – #griefheart number 43

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Before and After

Ever since my son Charles died by suicide in June of 2015, I categorize everything as either before his death or after.

His death literally split my life in two and I am forever changed.

I still instinctively scan family photos taken after his death looking for him.

Read more at The Gift of the SecondRead more...

Angel Devil heart – #griefheart 123

Angel devil heart
Angel devil heart

I remember when Charles picked this shirt out. It remember him in it. Charles always felt he had an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other. I see a lot of angel/devil/demon references in his music.

Drugs were definitely a demon and made him feel as such. He hated himself for what they made him do. But I’m going to focus on one of his angel references that he wrote for Tiffani when he was at the Family School in NY.

“She’s my angel, so its only appropriate that she stay on my mind like … Read more...

Sunny side up heart – #griefheart 122

sharing-a-heart

You can find one in the sky,
You can form one out of rocks,
You mold one out of play dough,
You can shape one out of socks.
You can make one out of buttons,
You can stamp one in the snow,
You can fill today with
hearts everywhere you go!

Thank you for sharing your heart–Mary-ellen

(Mary-ellen is on my school program committee.)

What is the #griefheart project?

I explain my #griefheart project here.

See all #griefhearts so far on pinterest or on this blog by #griefheart category.

Get updates to this project by subscribing

Grateful Heart

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Darkness

morninglight

Charles’ friend Michael’s brother sent this to me to share. Thank you for sharing Thomas. Keep writing! I can feel this in my soul. It will help other young adults to know they are not alone. Readers, please comment. 

by Thomas Stewart

Better off asleep
I don’t wanna think
But shit I’m still counting sheep
Cleaning the vomit from the sink
I know that they love me
I know that they care
But they can’t fuckin’ see
Its my final frontier.
I’m flooded with tears
Hit it and shit disappears
Death I don’t fear
Shit, it’s invited
Me? I’m excited… Read more...