My son, Jake, died from depression

by Susan Shearouse 

Journal Entry. May 12. Sunday. Mother’s Day

Susan and her son, Jacob Hasson Stull who died by suicide.
February 26, 1982 – September 14, 2018

Sitting on the porch, comforted by the sweet soft rain. This bench is sheltered just so. I can look out across the front yard at my gardens there and stay dry here.

Mother’s Day. I am the mother of three children. One is not with me. Other people say “he is here.” No. Here is rumbling through the neighborhood in an old truck that needs a new muffler. Here is bounding up … Read more...

Keep it positive! A phrase I hate

All my career I heard that phrase. In advertising, they practically force fed it.

When did we become so fake that anything other than bliss was off limits? There are times when a warped or dark point of view is funny.

One time, we did an ad for Ethyl (now under another name.) It was for a fireproof suit. We featured a photo of a guy walking through fire with the suit on and the headline was something like, “Our guys walk through hell to test our suits.” The client loved it. Except for one thing. Could we make it … Read more...

Fighting suicidal ideation

by Larry

Note from Anne Moss: Larry emailed me last year and he has struggled with thoughts of suicide since donating an organ. He is from in the highest risk group for suicide in both Canada and US, middle aged white males. This latest email is published here with his permission and to show you how hard people fight their ideation.

“Shortly after my last email below I did a 180 and very nearly ended my life. I was in such deep despair I had decided it was best to end my wife’s pain at watching my steady decline and … Read more...

Dear Suicide

dear suicide

For years you stalked my son’s brain, took it hostage, lied to him and made him feel worthless and undeserving of life. At first he was frightened and confused but unwilling to tell us how much he hurt.

Because when you deposit pain you inject shame. Is that some kind of self-preservation on your part?

Charles didn’t understand because he didn’t know who you were, how unrelenting and convincing you could be, or how that you’d come back over and over to torture him. Over time, you wore him down until he was desperate for solutions. He thought he found … Read more...

Speaker Testimonial from Dr. Horowitz

59 second video

Our presentation event in Baltimore, MD went very well and I’m grateful Dr. Lisa Horowitz took time out of her day to do this video and honored to have earned both her trust and respect. (Thank you videographer, Mary Tidwell, for shooting this.) We make quite a team and for this conference, we presented with this panel of respected suicide prevention experts.

Let me know if you think the video is too long. When I rework my demo reel, I’ll incorporate this testimonial plus the other ones from attendees.

In the fall, I will be focusing … Read more...

People are finding guest posts through Google

What you see on this page are screen shots of my statistics that show people’s searches from google and on which guest post they landed. If you are using a mobile phone you might have to turn your phone landscape to see them.

These stats illustrate how important your stories are and that they help others when they are hurting or looking for answers. The one above is someone searching for God after a child died. Where was God when my child died?

Someone came from Google and landed on Jill Cichowicz’ story about her twin brother, Scott Neal Zeobrowski, Read more...

Mother pours grief into ‘Claire’s Song’

by Karen Poll

Our daughter, Claire, was a bright, seemingly healthy teenager who had a zest for life and was always using the phrase YOLO (You Only Live Once).

However, by the age of 14 we started noticing changes.  We didn’t realize at the time they were some of the key warning signs of depression:  personality change, agitation, withdrawal.  We attributed them all to normal teenage angst.  

We had no idea of the catastrophic storm that was brewing inside her. Claire ended her life the last night of ninth grade at the age of 15, June 5, 2014.  We … Read more...

Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Randy, me, Richard, and my deceased youngest child, Charles

After Charles killed himself, my husband and I had to decide how to answer questions about the number of children we had, and Richard had to figure out how to answer the sibling question. Each of us had our own answers–none of which were wrong or the same as one another.

How each member of our family answers that question is a personal choice.

Immediately, I answered, “I raised two children. The oldest, Richard, is living his dream as a filmmaker in LA. And my youngest died by suicide.” I say … Read more...

Be Like a Phoenix

by W. Joseph Stegner, Jr.

I repeat to you, what was told to me,
when I almost jumped from the Golden Gate.
“However gloomy the skies may be,
they will eventually clear, if you wait.

“If you jump, it will be permanent.
There is no taking it back.
When the skies clear, you’ll already be gone,
because, on the water you chose to smack.”

He did not tell me in rhyme,
but he told me with honest concern,
that things would get better, if only I’d wait,
through emotions that currently burn.

A Coast Guard Cutter had staged below,
to … Read more...

’13 Reasons Why’ associated with increase in suicide rates

Authors of the study with the exception of me who is second from the left. All the rest are real researchers with the degrees to go with that. Jeff Bridge PhD, John Campo MD, Lisa Horowitz PhD

The Netflix show “13 Reasons Why” was associated with a 28.9% increase in suicide rates among U.S. youth ages 10-17 in the month (April 2017) following the shows release, after accounting for ongoing trends in suicide rates, according to a study published in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry

The study estimated that 195 more suicides occurred … Read more...