Few ever think it will happen to them. I never thought it would happen to me.
Even family members who have a loved one who has attempted suicide, think it won’t happen to them. And even if they are, they are never prepared for it.
A death by suicide is always a shock. Parents often don’t even believe their children who tell them outright, much less kids who leave a more subtle clue. We can’t fathom life would be so bad for our child they would take their life. The same goes for siblings, friends, aunts, uncles, parents. From the … Read more...
I went to a lovely event called the Super Women Awards. Pate and Donna Ray McCoy hosted the event and it was emceed by Dee and Willy Jolley who was also at my National Speakers Association meeting in the morning so I got a double-take of the famous, hall-of-fame speaker. I would show the group photo, but I don’t have one yet. I’m both honored and humbled by the award and the fellow women who were recipients were amazing.
Anger is typical in early grief. It’s also typical when you have a loved one struggling with mental illness or addiction.
Around 2012, I was angry that Charles wouldn’t stop misusing drugs and alcohol. Then I was angry at the mental health system, God, and people who wouldn’t let me talk about him then. But once he died, I took my anger to a whole new level.
I wasn’t mad at just the system or God or some psychiatrist. Not at Charles or anyone in my family. For the record, it’s not unusual for family members to be angry at … Read more...
Out of respect for my cousins, his siblings, son, and his ex-wife, who are struggling with their grief, they asked that I not share this on social media. So I ask that you not share it there either. I’m just sharing it with you, my tribe.
Meet my first cousin Pat. Whenever he arrived, the fun followed. He was interesting, thoughtful, and something of a hippie farmer.
While he lived in Richmond as an adult as we did, as children we were five hours away from this set of cousins. My mom’s sister had four children, and Pat was one … Read more...
It only took a moment for Anne Moss Rogers’ life to change direction; only seconds for her to move from years of fear and dread to a life committed to service and education. That moment, when she learned her younger son, 20-year-old Charles, had died by suicide, was the most devastating moment of her life. But the heart-wrenching experience fueled her desire to help others.
I know you want to tell someone but you are afraid to. It’s hard to know what to say or to whom. And it’s frightening to think of baring your deepest darkest hurt to another human being.
Will the person you tell freak out? Will they think of you as weak or selfish? Will they believe you? I won’t lie. They might.
That’s why it’s important to choose the right kind of person (section below on how to choose the right person). If they don’t understand right at first, it may be because they can’t believe your life would be … Read more...